The plan was to leave for Austin from Kansas City at noon after stopping at a Chili's for some Tex-Mex takeout the other day, but Megan (who's photographing this journey) had loaded her mini-van down with so many road snacks (homemade gooey butter bars, Skittles, Krispy Kreme donuts, Doritos and a ten-pound bag of trail mix) that one of the tires blew out before we even got on the highway. We went to Costco and got the thing repaired and waited in the parking lot for three hours. We had one of our best LP (Lesbian Processing) sessions ever and were left with absolutely NOTHING to talk about on our 12 hour drive to Austin. I popped two Tylenol PM and spent the entire trip asleep, dreaming about meeting Lady GaGa and sucking her dick. (Speaking of which, if doing so would get her arrested because you are not old enough to be doing such things, you need to go away now.)
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2. He jerked off on some guy's coat in the liquor store parking lot across from the venue where his boyfriend was playing.
3. He meet some chick who could stick a condom through her nose and pull it out her mouth while talking on the phone to her boyfriend about fisting. I'll admit it, I was jealous. I'd been stuck in a van the entire time all this was going down and now everyone was exhausted, wasted, and ready to crash.
