On an average day I drag my hangover into the office around noon and crawl under my desk for a quick nap before I force myself to puke out a workday’s worth of advertorial. I keep a pillow down there and it's more comfortable than you'd imagine. My co-workers can't see me because my cubicle is in the far corner of the office, with three walls that face outwards.Thursdays and Fridays are deadline days. Monday through Wednesday are "fuck off and leave me alone" days. Today I have a 500-word ad to write for the "Bronze Temple", which is apparently Vancouver’s #1 source for airbrush and spray tanning treatments.The copy isn’t due until the end of the day, so I spend the bulk of my hours looking for better jobs or flirting with aspiring sluts online. My friends claim I’m an overpaid hack, and they might be right, but I went to university for seven years to get my B.A and I feel entitled to 35K a year working a job that amounts to cutting and pasting text and/or fucking the dog for hours on end. Here's the copy I churned out today. I made some notes on the text with some helpful hints so that you, too, could become an overpaid copywriter.W. DOHNBERG