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MEET THE NIERATKOS - BLOODY AWFUL POETRY

I was going to tell you about last week's porn shoot in LA but then this came up. Up until the release of this newest issue of Vice I had no idea that my amigro/pro skater, Olly Todd, wrote

poetry

. As I sat enjoying Olly's words I started to wonder to myself, "What other great skater has tried their hand at poetry? Who was it? I know Mike V had a few books, but there was someone else. Someone who was less successful at it. Hmmm. Who?" So I went to my bookshelf and began to search. It took a while to locate, mostly because of my shite method of organizing my bookshelf, but there it was, sandwiched between

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The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women

and

Dr. Suess Goes to War

Do the Distance

by former pro and

Deluxe

frontman,

Jim Thiebaud

. Published by High Speed Productions back in 1991, when Jim still had a ponytail,

Do The Distance

is a real coming-of-age tome full of teenage angst and aggression stinking of San Francisco's Castro district. To try and explain it is unfair to the words. Instead I'll reprint a few here and even go ahead and read some of Jim's finest pieces….

(I APOLOGIZE FOR THE ALL CAPS IN THE TEXT BUT SEEMS JIM HIT THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON WHEN HE WROTE THESE NEARLY 20 YEARS AGO. THAT'S HOW ANGRY HE WAS.)

ALL AT ONCE

OVERLOAD ALWAYS FEELING LOADED TOO MUCH AT ONCE ALWAYS THINKING HATING HATING THE ALWAYS THINKING TRYING TO FOCUS DOWN TO PICK ONE AND CONFUSION OVERWHELMS ENVELOPS SURROUNDS GRABS AND HOLDS PULLS DOWN I AM TOO MUCH SIMULTANEOUSLY THE PINATA THE BAT THE CROWD I'M CHEERING AS I STRIKE MYSELF SMASHED UP RELIEVED TO FALL FROM THE ROPE FALLING TO THE GROUND AGAIN SPILLING OUT ALL OVER THE PLACE AGAIN.

THE FIX

THE MORE BULLETS THAT CONNECT WITH YOU, THE STRONGER YOU BECOME THE MORE TIMES YOU PICK YOURSELF UP THE MORE YOU'LL BE STANDING UP THE MORE THEY TELL YOU WHAT'S RIGHT AND WRONG, THE CLEARER YOU START TO SEE THEM TRANSPARENT THE LIES, THE RULES, THE SHIT, TRANSPARENT SOMETIMES IT'S REWARDING TO JUST SIT BACK SIT BACK AND TAKE IT TAKE ALL THAT THEY HAVE TO GIVE DIGEST IT LIVE WITH IT FOR A WHILE LEARN ABOUT IT AND FEEL THE RAGE HOLD IT IN USE IT INTERNALLY ABUSE THE FUCK OUT OF IT. LET IT MAKE YOU STRONGER MAKE IT MAKE YOU STRONGER. MAKE IT MAKE YOU STRONGER. SUCK OUT ALL THE POWER THEY INSTILLED IN IT. THEN WHEN IT'S ALL GONE, AND USED UP, START LOOKING FOR YOUR NEXT fiX.

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"One"

by Jim (right-click the title to download each of these or just listen to them below) [audio: http://viceland-assets-cdn.vice.com/blogs/en/files/2009/12/one-by-jim.mp3]

"On Fire"

by Jim [audio: http://viceland-assets-cdn.vice.com/blogs/en/files/2009/12/on-fire-by-jim.mp3]

"Another Lap" by Jim [audio: http://viceland-assets-cdn.vice.com/blogs/en/files/2009/12/another-lap-by-jim.mp3] PS: Here's Jim's twitter.

twitter.com/jimt43

CHRIS NIERATKO

For more Chris, go to chrisnieratko.com

.