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Warning: The volume on this goddamn fucking thing is way too loud.Which brings us to Metta World Peace, whose newest single, “Represented,” was released yesterday. Not to get all “Professional Rap Critic” on you, but the song sucks a gazillion dog dicks. It sounds like he’s trying to be a different rapper every single bar (He’s rapping too fast on purpose like late-90s Cam’ron! Now he’s some generic Atlanta rapper! Now his inflection’s making him sound like Vast Aire!?!?), which is usually a thing that happens when you write your verse and try to match it to the beat once you’re in the studio. Oh, and the beat itself sounds like a barely-warmed-over Zaytoven leftover. This is not, unfortunately, Metta World Peace’s first foray into the music world. He also put out a really dumb song called “Champions” and operates a “media group” whose website contains a chat room that, when I decided to check it out, contained, myself included, exactly one member. On his media group’s home page, Artest endorses a cell phone that’s also a watch that MWP claims to like because it allows him to “play defense,” among other things, while wearing it.Unlike Jackson, MWP doesn’t seem to really care about rapping—it’s just one more fun thing for him to do while he’s hanging out in LA, just like his attempt at stand-up comedy, his record label called “Tru Warrier,” and his bizarre, painfully awkward YouTube videos. Pretty much everyone realizes his rapping is a joke, including Jackson, who wouldn’t let him appear on his new mixtape. Maybe that’s because MWP never thanked Jackson for helping him duke it out with fans that one time a few years ago; maybe Jackson just decided that MWP's flow wouldn't be right for this carefully curated musical project. The point is that Metta is so garbage at rap that even other guys who rap as a hobby want nothing to do with him. Don’t quit your day job, dude. Whatever that is.@drewmillard
