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- Books on the occult
- Moonshine
- Moonlighting merchandise
- Moons over My Hammy
- Hammentaschen
- Knishes
- Other assorted Jew food
- A trip to the Clairmont Lounge
- A John Waters-themed tour of Maryland
- A tour of the inside of John Waters home
- A tour of the inside of John Waters
- Favor crystals
- A KFC Triple-Down sandwich
- Rape whistles
- Police whistles
- Slide whistles
- Copies of “Whistle Bait” by Lorrie and Larry Collins on 45rpm
- Warriors of Plasm trading cards
- Pornographic playing cards
- Porno that was found in the woods
- Ninja stars
- Toy handcuffs
- Real handcuffs
- The threat of arrest
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Nicholas

Matt Murray
AbramsThe Smurfs are pretty great and they deserve this book, but I think the main impetus for this book's existence was that new Smurfs movie, which was about as ugly and misguided as a movie could possibly be. It seems like the people who made the movie said to themselves, “Man, I really hate the Smurfs and have no idea why they were once very popular with children. I know, I will make a movie that perverts every facet of the Smurfs and people will like it more!


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