Mike Francesa Apoplectic About Harambe the Gorilla Defenders

"People are more werried about da GORILLER den da kid? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!"https://t.co/OM07LLuv92
— I Nevah Said That! (@RNs_Funhouse) May 31, 2016

The Golden State Warriors beat the Oklahoma City Thunder to cap off a dramatic comeback in Game 7 of the Western Conference Finals last night, not long after the Pittsburgh Penguins won a great first game of the Stanley Cup Finals, and Matt Harvey pitched his way off the ledge yesterday afternoon, among other notable stories in sports. But right now New York sports radio legend Mike Francesa is most geeked up about Harambe the Gorilla.

Unless you've been living under a rock, you know by now that a gorilla was shot to death in a Cincinnati zoo after a small child somehow managed to fall into his enclosure. It was a harrowing scene to be sure, Harambe did drag the kid around, but he also seemed to be protecting the child. We have the internet now, so the incident has become the center of a debate that no one will win, but that they will argue over until they are blue in the face. It's actually the perfect story for Mike Francesa's specific skill set: relentlessly talking over people until they can no longer stand the sound of his voice. He's fired up!

Some think Harambe's shooting was just a logical decision to protect the child. Others are willing to fault the parents for letting their child escape their attention long enough to fall into a goddamned gorilla enclosure, resulting in a needless killing of an otherwise gentle animal in captivity. Francesa is Team Kill The Gorilla and he is fully on board.

National treasure @MikeFranceser, a parody account that tweets out phonetic transcriptions of Mike's rants, covered some of it, and you can listen to the actual rant above. But do read the tweets: they are like a puzzle or word jumble and it's highly satisfying to decode.

Dis will offend some people and Im not sorry if it does. We have some people in dis country protesting dat dey killed da Gorilla? Really?
— Mike Franceser (@MikeFrancesaNY) May 31, 2016

What da heck has happened in dis country dat we have idiots protestin dis. Listen to dese ABSOLUTELY ABSURD TAKES!
— Mike Franceser (@MikeFrancesaNY) May 31, 2016

Dey saved da toddlahs life, and youah have people sayin dat da Gorillar would have protected da toddlah. AH YOUAH KIDDIN ME!?!?!
— Mike Franceser (@MikeFrancesaNY) May 31, 2016

Youah werried about da Gorillar when dere is a kid in dere who can get his head crushed!
— Mike Franceser (@MikeFrancesaNY) May 31, 2016

Ah we really in da real world anymoah?
— Mike Franceser (@MikeFrancesaNY) May 31, 2016

138,000 people want to live in a world wheah dey want to chahge da mothah??? Aftah she went through dat!!!! HER KID WAS WITH A GORRILAR!!!
— Mike Franceser (@MikeFrancesaNY) May 31, 2016

Youah werried about da risks of da Gorrilar? Da Gorillar?
— Mike Franceser (@MikeFrancesaNY) May 31, 2016

I really can't recommend this enough. That's a good job, Mike.