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Sports

Washington Nationals Fan (Eventually) Triumphs in Gripping Battle with a Poncho

A hapless Washington Nationals fan waged war against his poncho last night and, eventually, emerged victorious.
h/t WaPo

Poncho! pic.twitter.com/uJnkG7VIMD
— Danny (@recordsANDradio) June 18, 2015

Rain, for all of its agricultural benefits, can sure be a pain in the ass. It traps you inside when you might rather be enjoying the great outdoors, dogs—animals that lick their own butts and willingly roll around in other animal's poop—can't stand it, and sometimes it makes you look like an infant who unravelled a whole package of saran wrap around himself.

Our friend here began his struggle when rain started to fall in the seventh inning of the Nationals 5-0 loss to the Rays last night and it lasted much longer than it had any right to. It took him a good 30 seconds to even find the opening for his head, a process made more difficult because the entire poncho was already covering him. It's like watching a person flail around in quicksand.

He eventually found the head hole, and that precious oxygen, but soon struggled to free his arms from the plastic menace. Or maybe he was just feeling claustrophobic after his race against the looming threat of asphyxiation. Whatever the case, this gentleman finally figured out how to use a poncho after about a minute of heart-pounding action and humanity narrowly retained the title of most advanced life form on this planet.

[MLB]