Legend: Soccer Fan Carries 8 Beers, Has 1 Sausage Crammed in His Mouth

My dude is walking around quintuple fisting and chewing on a sausage. Respect.
October 8, 2018, 8:12pm

"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do." - Atticus Finch, To Kill a Mockingbird

There is a time in every person's life when we must answer the call to greatness, no matter the time or place, and our friend here was called upon during a Bundesliga match this weekend between Fortuna Dusseldorf and Schalke in Dusseldorf, Germany.


Apparently with not a single buddy to help carry the load, this man was tasked with carrying eight beers back to his seats and never flinched. Like a German Terminator, he simply said he would be back, and so he was, with a shitload of beer, and a special treat for himself by way of a bratwurst shoved in his maw. He is eventually given some assistance from a friend, or simply an admiring bystander, and they were able to execute a handoff of four of the beers, freeing his hand for the brat.

Now, this might all seem improbable, if not impossible, but it would appear these cups have handles. making it easier to grip four at a time, sure, but still no walk in the park. And, not for nothing, it might have even made it harder to finagle the one-handed transfer to his mate.

In this truly inspiring video, we learn that the actual inspiration behind this specific cup was not ease of transport, but rather to ensure that, were this cup to be thrown at a sporting event or some other large gathering place, science would ensure that the liquid would be completely emptied before the cup landed at it's intended destination. Making the intended target safe from beer, and literally everyone else in its path, uh, not.

Thank you, sir. Thank you, German beer conveyance technology. The world is slightly better, we have all secured an increasingly rare win, for you both existing.