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The Libertines are Curating a Festival Line-Up, God Help Us All

They're headlining the Sunday of Kent's Wheels and Fins festival, and probably bringing 2002 with them.
Lauren O'Neill
London, GB
Image via

Every so often, there'll be news of The Libertines doing something objectively fairly bizarre. Most recently, it was announced that they had acquired a hotel (???) in Margate (gin in teacups anyone? LOL!) following a legal struggle with local residents who worried about the kind of ruckus they might cause on a regular basis. Now it has emerged that they're curating a day at Wheels and Fins, a Kent music festival, whose other 2018 headliners are Faithless and Feeder:


(Side note: there is no actual way in hell that The Libertines run their own Twitter feed and in moments like this, I like thinking of the person whose job it is to sit there typing this shite out in their trademark "AWRIGHT ME OLD CHINA LET'S SET SAIL THE GOOD SHIP ALBION" cadence, probably in an office next to a half-empty mug of tea, and an extremely unromantic Ginster's pasty wrapper.)

OK, so curating a day of a festival isn't actually that strange – bands are always selecting acts to play with them on festival bills and whatnot – but this is about context. Preceded by groups like Feeder and Faithless (with sub-headliners High Contrast, Sub Focus and Example), it's odd to consider where the Libs fit in here, especially when you consider that their audience is so specific, and their vibe so pronounced. For this reason it's quite possible that the Sunday of Wheels and Fins music festival will literally just be the year 2002, accessed via some sort of time slip that only opens when Pete Doherty and Carl Barat play the opening riff to "Time For Heroes."

What then, can we expect from a Libertines-curated Sunday? My guess is as follows:

  • maybe one member of the Strokes (not Julian or Albert) doing a mid-afternoon slot
  • a town-crier, probably???
  • no women performing obvs
  • a bar from which you can literally only buy gin or tea which is sponsored by shit Tinder bios everywhere
  • sponsored photobooth where you can pay £20 to get a picture in the Libs jacket
  • Dirty Pretty Things doing "Bang Bang You're Dead" to begin and end their set
  • Razorlight


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