This article originally appeared on VICE UK
There's a well-worn joke that politicians – and, in particular, Tories – are lizards. Lizards wearing human suits, pretending to be human, hiding their true, slimy, awful inner-selves while trying to weasel their way into power.
Another theory is that they're cyborgs, devoid of real emotion – a charge thrown at Theresa May (the Maybot) after numerous "robotic" public appearances and, er, the fact she introduced policy after policy that you could only support if you had zero empathy for other human beings.
Which is obviously crazy! Right? Politicians are people, even if they sometimes come across a bit stilted or strange. Normal people, able to answer normal questions, about normal human things.
In totally unrelated news, Boris Johnson had a meltdown on live TV today after he was asked to explain why he's relatable.
In an astonishing two minutes, Johnson bumbles around, speechless, despite generous prompting from presenter Naga Munchetty, who has just posed him the question: "You're a family man. Your partner, Carrie Symonds, is campaigning, you're a father…why are you relatable?"
Staring into the abyss, like a man asked to explore the limitation of time and space live on national TV, Johnson flails. "Well, I, uh, I, uh, think that, uh, the best answer I can give is that I, uh, of course, I've been, uh…"
This goes on for an incredibly hard-to-watch two minutes, 20 seconds, and concludes with Johnson panicking and deciding the whole embarrassing ordeal is the fault of Munchetty for asking him such a stupid question.
In conclusion: either a lizard, or a man brought up in extreme wealth, completely detached from society, with a penchant for cheating on the women who trust him, who is utterly un-relatable for the majority of British voters. You decide!