Justice for butt plugs! Tattoo that mantra on my [redacted] and wave it on high from the tallest flag. Anal play isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s cool, but how do you know if you’ve never tried? You could be missing out on some really hot ways to edge with your partner, engage in prostate play, and carve out endless kinky fantasies.
Some rules of the ever-important thumb when it comes to butt plugs: Make sure you’re taking things one step at a time, and consider starting out with a smaller plug or a set of anal training plugs. If your butt plug feels rubbery, check to see that it’s made out of a body safe, medical-grade silicone, and be sure to use lubrication that is compatible with your toy of choice; water-based lubes are great for silicone, glass, and metal sex toys, while silicone-based lubes are compatible with glass and metal toys, but not silicone toys, because they degrade the plastic quality over time. And please, please: make sure your toy has a flared base, because your sphincter is a powerful hole capable of beaming unflared toys right up the bum. Got it? Great.
So, why go with a butt plug with extra aesthetic appeal? As with all sex toys, there will always be a worthy no-frills option out there. Non-aesthetes get horny, too! And their pleasure quest might end with a toy such as the Teazer vibrating plug (it does have bomb ratings). But we also believe that you deserve chemistry with your sex toys, in the way that you deserve to feel fully serviced by every item your life. We want you to be so proud of your blown glass butt plug’s design, that you give it its own pedestal.
There are butt plugs made out of stainless steel, and butt plugs with gemstones; there are Shrek-inspired butt plugs, glow-in-the-dark butt plugs, and butt plugs that look as if they were blown from the sweet lips of Dale Chihuly himself. We just love us some beautiful anal plugs, and we think that if you opened up your
anus imagination a little bit more, you could, too. Think of them as the stacking rings of the sex toy world, because they’re often one of the most affordable ways to indulge in a luxurious, statement-making treat. Whether you’re looking for a special anal toy for yourself or a partner, there’s a butt plug out there for everyone.
Say “I do”
A little booty bling is always a good idea, and this polished aluminum plug features a sparkling handle at the end of its seven inch tip. Place it in the fridge or heat it up on the stove in some lightly boiling water for a little temperature play fun.
A rose by any other name
Planting the seeds of romance has never been easier, thanks to these floral anal flourishes. They’ll look gorgeous on your restroom shelf by your bottle of fancy pube oil.
The one that looks designed by Apple
Maude is definitely one of the coolest kids in the sex toy industry. All of their product info is typed out in chill girl lowercase, for one. More importantly, all of their products are made out of 100% platinum-grade, soft-touch silicone, and are both phthalate and latex-free. High design, and high quality—someone give this butt plug a TedTalk.
You fell in love with an emo girl
For those who wear their heart on their sleeves, and in their anuses, this Pipedream plug is a winner. Besides, what else are you going to do after watching the new horny-sad Batman movie? “PERFECT,” writes one Amazon reviewer of the 4.5-star rated toy, “Beautifully designed and Elegant. [The] glass is non-porous so it won't hold a [smell]!”
Did Prince make this one?
So that’s why the song’s called “Purple Rain.” Unbound Babes' Shimmy plug has a built-in vibrator with five different speeds and five vibration patterns, plus a circular handle for easy insertion and removal.
Your favorite Lady Gaga album is 'Chromatica'
A little iridescence can go a long way. We love this finish on both a classic, non-vibrating plug, as well as more high-tech toys such as the Hueman Black Hole. “It gives the biggest orgasms I have ever had,” writes one Lovehoney reviewer of the latter, which is rechargeable, remote-controlled, and has a sleek penis ring attachment.
When it comes to butt stuff, anal beads are a little more intense than your run of the mill plug—so lube up, Larry—but they’re also just so gorgeous, we’re tempted to make them the focalpoint of our holiday decor next year.
Go bump in the night
Whether you’re a Halloween enthusiast, raver, or just someone who wants to be able to find your goddamn butt plug in the dark, this is the toy for you. It has a 5-star rating on Lovehoney, and a handle that makes us feel like a Deee-Lite video vixen.
Steal the show
Njoy is one of the most respected sex toy brands in the game thanks to its cult-fave, stainless steel dildo, so we already knew we would love its steel plug, which has a 5-star rating on Lovehoney and reviewers who love its ring-like handle at the base for easy insertion and removal. “And since the fingerloop is narrow,” writes one reviewer, “it sits comfortably between my cheeks when I’m wearing it for longer periods.”
“Alexa, play ‘The Rite of Spring’”
What better way to usher in our favorite equinox than with a bunny tail-inspired butt plug? “Honestly this thing is so cute I can’t get over it,” writes a reviewer of Lovehoney’s pink plug, “It’s so soft and fluffy it looks great. The size isn’t too overwhelming either.”
Do you read centaur porn? Was your first crush the fox from Disney’s Robin Hood? You’re welcome.
You bone to Phish
For daddy bear, from baby bear
Nothing goes harder than a yummy Gummy Bear in the bum.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.