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Let This Electric Love Potato onto Your Desktop and into Your Soul

We spend our days in a virtual wasteland of loneliness, so why not take this desktop-enabled Potato companion along for the ride?

Life on the internet can be tough. It's easy to feel alone and adrift in this troll-infested digital hellscape. And that's exactly why you need the Electric Love Potato in your life.

Inspired by virtual assistants like Microsoft Word's Clippy (only with more purpose and utility), this high tech Potato lives on your desktop and keeps you company through a constant stream of compliments, over-sharing of its rich Potato culture in the form of Potato poetry and ASCII art. And—like any overly co-dependent companionship—it also has a never-ending need for your attention. Creator Nathalie Lawhead, AKA alienmelon, calls the Electric Love Potato a "screenmate" because unlike Clippy, it's much more akin to a virtual pet that needs nurturing in the tradition of Tamagotchi or Nintendogs. You can "pet," "hug," "brush," "water," or, if you're a sick bastard fueled by hate and the suffering of innocents, even "shame" it.

Having released the original digitized vegetable friend two years ago, Lawhead updated the Electric Love Potato (Two Point OH!) with some new features. Among them is the option to take up less screen space in SMALLtato mode (which also enables the Potato's adorably squeakier voice). While the Electric Love Potato is supposedly engineered to provide "cutting edge virtual companionship" in the background while you go about your regular online activities, its cuteness will inevitably take precedent over anything else you've got going on (bug or a feature? You decide). Also, considering that you must save Gerald the Potato from a constant threat of an invasive malware species, it gets tough to keep your potato friend alive while, say, also writing a Motherboard article.