Man, there's a reason why we're always on the lookout for shiny new hangover cures. Maybe it's because we can't always muster the energy to make an Eggslut breakfast sandwich or the fortitude of stomach to go for some hair of the dog. Or perhaps it's because there are a thousand different ways to be hungover (surely you're familiar with the Margarita Death, Gin and Tonic Waterboarding, and the Red Wine Massacre) and all of them are equally horrible in their own unique ways. Just when you think you've mastered the art of surviving a particularly brutal love affair with Fernet-Branca, there's a Sunday of day-drinking mimosas to knock you back on your ass.
Today, we will once again try to purge you of your overdrinking sins. This time, we're looking to a study funded by Horticulture Innovation Australia that sees potential in the humble pear as a savior of morning-after misery.
The study is part of a larger effort on behalf of the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organization to uncover unknown health benefits and properties of the fruit, which isn't particularly popular in Australia. But the Australian Broadcasting Corporation reports that pears may actually be able to lower blood alcohol levels and mitigate the crippling effects of hangovers.
Manny Noakes, professor and Research Director of Nutrition and Health for the CSIRO, told ABC, "Believe it or not, there are effects that pear may have on the amount of blood alcohol after an alcoholic drink." But here's the trick: you can't wait until the morning of and just go ape on a bushel. You actually have to consume the pear before your big night on the town.
"Once you have a hangover, there is no evidence that it will do you any good," Noakes said.
The study is still in progress and won't be complete for two more months, so it's not yet clear how or why pear offers these types of benefits for boozers. But researchers say that they can also help to treat high cholesterol, constipation, and inflammation. Noakes even claims that "you may never look at the pear in the same way ever again."
Intriguing, Professor. Very intriguing indeed.
In the meantime, while they chug pear juice and get trashed Down Under, you have lots of other options to tide you over in the interim. Take, for instance, Fergus Henderson's supposedly failproof Dr. Henderson, a combination of two liqueurs that work together as one to heal your almost-lifeless body. And cheese: delicious, salty, greasy cheese.
In the interim, try throwing a couple of these bad boys in your fruit basket and see what happens. We'll be anxiously awaiting the anecdotal reports … from bed.