The World's Oldest Whisky Is Being Poured into a Line of $45,000 Watches

Almost four years ago, a historic bottle of whisky went to auction when Bonhams sold a battered but still-sealed bottle of Old Vatted Glenlivet 1862. The then-151-year-old Scotch was believed to be from the estate of 19th-century aristocrat and sugarbeet magnate William Bayard Cutting; it sold for a cool $7,735. Now another bottle of Old Vatted Glenlivet 1862 has been discovered, and instead of being passed between generations or placed on a high shelf, it's going to be poured drop-by-drop into a line of stupid-expensive watches, because nothing matters anymore.

The Scotch, believed to be the oldest vintage whisky in the world, is being ceremoniously splashed into a limited edition of 50 watches that will be called—wait for it—the Whisky Watch. According to ScotchWhisky.com, the timepieces are a partnership between Wealth Solutions and Swiss watchmaker Louis Moinet. Each watch will contain one drop of the Old Vatted Glenlivet and will retail for a totally reasonable £14,625 ($17,866) for the steel case version or £37,375 ($45,655) for one of the ten red-gold watches.

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This is what rich people spend their money on, when they're not buying their own volcanoes, bronzing their genitals, or rolling around in Olympic-sized swimming pools filled with Brasher dubloons, Honus Wagner baseball cards, and Chipotle guacamole.

"Whisky Watch is a unique watch that not only measures time in hours, minutes, and seconds but is also a genuine time capsule," the Whisky Watch's website says. "Thanks to the watch you can feel the spirit of the 19th-century Scotland and travel in time to the period of steamers, the early days of railway, and the Industrial Revolution."

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Oh yes, Whisky Watch. I'm sure this is exactly what ten-year-old Scots were wearing when they walked to their 16-hour shifts in the coal mines. "Have you seen my new Whisky Watch?" starving farmers asked their neighbors during the Highland Potato Famine. "I just boiled and ate my own leg bones," their friends answered, and then they all laughed and laughed.

Wealth Solutions has previously offered a Cognac watch, which contained a drop of Gautier 1762, the world's oldest Cognac (it bought the bottle from Bonhams for $59,500), a rum watch which was lightly baptised with Harewood 1780, and a fountain pen filled with that same Cognac that I sincerely hope some rich douchebag accidentally dropped into his personal volcano. If you're the kind of person who wants a $45,000 watch filled with a drop of whisky and a giant splash of utter nihilism, it will be available on April 8.