Cursed footballing hex Jack Rodwell // PA Images
1,241 days. One thousand, two hundred and forty one. That's a lot of days. It's three and a half years, actually. 40 months. 177 weeks. 29,784 hours. 1,788,040 minutes. I can't be bothered to do the seconds, but that's also a fucking shed-load. And what's the relevance of this? It's the amount of time Jack Rodwell has gone since starting on the winning side in the Premier League.Jack Rodwell. You know, he used to play for Everton, looked really good for a bit then got sold to Manchester City to rot on the subs' bench for a couple of years. No, not Scott Sinclair – he used to play for Swansea, looked really good for a bit then got sold to Manchester City to rot on the subs' bench for a couple of years. Jack Rodwell! He's now at Sunderland, remember? Yes, that Jack Rodwell. The one who has fallen from 'Next Great Hope of the English Midfield' to 'Voodoo Hex of Any Team That Dares Start Him'.
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To be fair to Rodwell, he is trapped in the Premier League equivalent of the tale of Sisyphus. In case you're not up to scratch on your Greek mythology, this is the story of a man doomed for all eternity to roll a boulder up a giant hill, only for said boulder to come falling back down again. Sunderland's Premier League seasons are a bit like this: they struggle against the weight of being very shit, then when the end seems in sight – when they win a few games and pull clear of regelation – the boulder rolls back down to the bottom of the hill. A new season starts and they have to do it all over again, probably with a new manager who will be sacked around Christmas. Repeat for infinity.The man pushing the boulder this season is David Moyes. After the tidal wave of animosity thrown his way for not being as good as Alex Ferguson – arguably the greatest football manager of all time – he now looks like a wraith, doomed to haunt various struggling top-flight sides forever more.Following their 1-0 defeat to fellow strugglers West Ham at the London Stadium, Sunderland have now officially endured their worst start to a Premier League campaign ever, with just two points from the first nine games. Afterwards, Moyes said: "I am very pleased with the performance but not with the result", which is football manager bullshit speak for: 'I'm so tired of it all, I hope they just hurry up and fucking sack me now because I can't bare to do another limp and disinterested post-match appraisal of another loss."Still, at least Victor Anichebe was fully supportive of the team, with these stirring words of encouragement:
With passion like this in the ranks, the Black Cats must surely have a fighting chance of survival.@williamwastemanMeanwhile Victor Anichebe has just won tweet of the year pic.twitter.com/SFxY3IqQyh
— Telegraph Football (@TeleFootball) October 23, 2016