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Vice Blog

STOCKHOLM - FAKE HERITAGE

Yesterday I received my poll card for the Sami council. That’s all fine, apart from the fact that I’m not Sami. I was a little bit drunk when I opened the envelope, and I couldn’t figure why I’d gotten it. This morning I’m sober and it seems even more mysterious. I can think of three different scenarios…

1. There is another Elin Unnes out there who actually is Sami. And instead of doing the proper thing, which is to go by a person’s social security number and get their legal address from the tax authorities, someone at the Sami council electoral register just googled "Elin Unnes" and I popped up. If this is the case, can the Sami Elin Unnes please stand up? I’ve got some really important papers for you. This is quite likelyUnnes is a Sami name (it means "the puny one;" most Sami names are slightly insulting and mean stuff like "the cheapskate" or "the one with crooked legs"). But this scenario is odd because my full name, Elin Cecilia Unnes, was on the envelope. Only the tax authorities (and maybe the police) have that name registered. So have parallel universes collided and there’s a Sami Elin Unnes who also happens to have the middle name Cecilia? And does she have big feet, listen to Girlschool a lot, and do everything I do but with her left hand and during the night instead of during the day?

2. Someone has been reading how I’ve been banging on about Sami rights in Scandinavia and assumed I must be Sami in order to give a hoot. In that case, I’m expecting a poll card for the Inuit council too!

3. I am Sami. With point one (the Sami last name) and point two (me caring about Sami rights) it’s not completely unlikely. Maybe it’s like a dark family secret! I’ve always wanted one of those.

So here I am, with a paper that allows me to vote in a council that may or may not be an attempt by the Swedish government to give the Sami population a fake sense of actual influence on the decisions being made about their future rights. Does anyone have any idea what's up with this?

ELIN UNNES