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MEET THE NIERATKOS - HAITI RELIEF T-SHIRTS

The other day I caught a bunch of hard looks at the gym. I got insecure. I assumed everyone was mad at me because I am fat and no one likes fat people. So I turned the treadmill up to a faster slow walk than I was doing. Still they looked at me in disgust. Finally someone clued me into what the problem was. A guy walked by and said, "Nice t-shirt, asshole!" I looked down to see what t-shirt I was wearing. It read, "FUCK HAITI!" Oh. I suddenly understood. I tried to explain that it was an old t-shirt, from before the earthquake, and it was laundry day and it was my only clean shirt. The guy fist pumped me and walked away.

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That day my friend and poet, Jim Thiebaud sent me an email saying that his Real Skateboards brand had just released a Red Cross Haiti Relief deck. We ordered some for NJ Skateshop and they'll be in Wednesday for sale. But I felt like I needed to do more. But what?

I started searching the internet to see what others had done and most of my ideas were already taken (I can't believe someone already remade "We Are The World"!). One thing I was noticing was that everything everyone was doing was so serious, so sad.

I don't do good with serious or sad. I like to swim more in the silly and stupid pool. That's when it hit me: I'll make some humorous t-shirts to raise money and awareness for Haiti. And here they are.

I haven't actually produced them yet. I've tried. Lord, knows I've tried. But three screen printers have refused my artwork. I don't know why. I think it's because it's so amateur. Or because it wasn't created in Photoshop. I tried to explain that I don't know how to use Photoshop. I asked them if they saw the new Vice with my Colt 45 sticker campaign yet? I attempted to make those in Photoshop. They took me hours. HOURS!

I think I might have to get my shirts made at Kinkos. They're not as touchy about what type of files your art is created in.

The more I think about it, the more it pisses me off. I hate computer dorks that think they know everything. SORRY, I DON'T KNOW PHOTOSHOP! IS THAT ANY REASON NOT TO PRINT MY T-SHIRTS??? FOR HUMANITY'S SAKE, I'M TRYING TO HELP HAITI!

Hopefully by next week I'll have a link up so you can order these. I'll keep you posted.

CHRIS NIERATKO

(For more stupid go to chrisnieratko.com)