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Vice Blog

NEW YORK - WHY I DIDN'T KILL MYSELF TODAY

February 6, 2009, 9:34pm


My dentist yelled at me, my boss yelled at me, I ate bad sushi, and I was generally was having a shitty day when suddenly I GOT MAKEUP! Discerning blog readers may recall that this is the THRICE time that the Sephora Santa has brought Girl Christmas to Boystown, and you may also recall that each time we wrote about it, all the comments were like, "Grunt, grunt, way to shill for the MAN," or whatever, and all we can say is: Look out! 'Cause here we go again! Sephora! Sephora! The great bringer of cosmetics! This time the theme was nature and eco stuff. Yay, nature! Go green, man!

Yeah, you read it here. Vice goes green! And my face goes brown and sparkly, thanks to this space-age egg of jupiter dust. It's cold and shitty out and forget the rest of you, I'm going to enjoy a fake tan applied with a fluffy brush, thanks. I was just telling a friend how badly I wanted new mascara but I couldn't afford it and then poof! The universe provides. And there's moisturizing agents galore, which will make my skin so damp and nutritious that it will be like a snack cake (thanks for that one, Amy Sedaris on Strangers with Candy). Bonus in the basket of moss and twine: a journal filled with paper made by a Pervuvian woman collective on which I can write all my thoughts and dreams and poems and sketches of whimsical observances, such as funny people in diners.

MEG SNEED