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Vice Blog

SOME GUY THREW THE BLACK LIPS' BASS OFF A BOAT

Hi. I just got back from filming the greatest music video of all time. It takes place on a private beach in the Bahamas that the Black Lips were dropped off at by a giant cruise ship that they were playing on last weekend. It also takes place on board the ship, with a bunch of girls in bikinis. Let's watch it together.

That was nice. But as we were wrapping up the video someone came up and apparently threw Jared Swilley's bass into the ocean. I didn't see it at the time, but looking back at it now on film, the guy looked an awful lot like Jared. Also, from what I've seen on the internet, it looks like I'm telling someone that it would be a good idea to throw a bass into the water, which I definitely didn't. I thought the shooting for the video had ended so I turned around and suddenly everybody disappeared and there were a couple ladies from security asking me about someone throwing a bass.

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One thing they don't tell you about these cruises is that all the staff make like a 15% commission off drink sales. And that's pretty much their whole wage, at least as I was made to understand it. Consequently there is a big binge-drinking culture that is encouraged on the boat.

They are always saying "Hey Mr. Andrews, do you want a drink?" and then they get you a beer and 20 minutes later they say, "Hey Mr. Andrews would you like another drink?" What are you supposed to say to that? You look around and everyone is drinking. So basically it's pushed on you. And I believe that it was one of these drinking kids, one who possibly from the video looks a bit like Jared and may even have been pressured into drinking by the boat staff, who threw the bass into the sea and hopefully didn't hit any dolphins on the head when he did so.

So the security women came over and asked us about whether or not we'd seen something go overboard and we replied, "I don't know anything about the bass that was thrown into the water, what are you talking about?" Then the women asked if that was a large guitar case at our feet, and we realized that yeah, weirdly enough, that is a guitar case.

"Is there a guitar in it?"

"Well, I'm not entirely sure. I'd assume that yes there is one in there, obviously. I mean where else would it be?"

"Can we open it and see?"

"Of course."

And that's how we discovered that the guitar case was empty except for a tambourine and a large airline baggage sticker reading "Property of Jared Swilley." A couple days later on my way back to New York, me and VBS editor Jake Burkhardt went to the Delta Lounge at the airport and cut the video while drinking gin and tonics. And as we watched the video, it became apparent that in fact someone did take Jared Swilley's bass and hurl it majestically from the top deck of the cruise ship into the sun. It also dawned on us that the person who did it really looked a lot like Jared, though I can't say for sure whether or not it's actually him. And why would he even do that? Why would he fling his own bass into the ocean? Just because it was an outstanding visual coda to possibly the greatest music video ever made? That seems like a stretch.

ANDY CAPPER as told to ANOTHER GUY