Humans are so weird (seriously think about it, they’re just flesh sacks stuffed with viscous fluids, bones and bile leaking organs) but they’re also crazy interesting. Do you know the average body produces half a litre of farts a day? Yet remains a thing that other flesh sacks want to touch sexually? All this high-grade biology got us thinking, mostly about what human organs are good eating and the best ways to break your own arm. We tracked down some bright, and pretty patient doctors and asked all the body questions we'd be too embarrassed to ask in a legitimate medical exam.
Dr. Freddie Vista is a Psychiatrist who spent the past decade learning to heal and comfort the sick and distressed. We asked him why we have butthole hair.
VICE: If you swapped tongues with someone would you inherit their favorite food preferences?
Dr. Freddie Vista, Psychiatrist: No, that kind of information is stored in people's brains not tongues. You might inherit their sensitivities to hot food.
What's the funniest illness?
Intermittent explosive disorder.
Is there a diet that's so efficiently nutritious that you wouldn't need to go to the toilet?
No there isn't, because defecation is a way body gets rid of used up or turned over cells and from intestinal lining as well. Even if no food is consumed there is still body waste.
Why does getting kicked in the testicles hurt so much?
Because they are an external body organ, that sensation is a visceral pain, which feels deep, vague and different to normal external body pain. You're effectively hitting an organ, damaging a kidney or ovary would feel similar.
What is the purpose of butthole hair?
If I knew that I'd have a Nobel prize.
Could you get drunk off a drunk person's vomit?
Yes, if they vomit straight after they consumed the drink they alcohol was wouldn't have been absorbed in a great amount. So you'd effectively be drinking what they were just drinking.
How come, after you urinate with a penis, there's always a little bit left that comes out in your pants no matter how long you wait?
That urine is probably trapped in the urethra (the tube that connects the bladder to the end of the penis), when you're done peeing it subsequently "dribbles" out due to gravity.
Gross, thanks for your time. I feel healthier already.