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Running backs are very important in fantasy football because they carry the ball and you can measure how far they’ve carried it. They are not as important in real life football, because how far they can carry the football is very dependent on the big fat strong guys on the offensive line. But those big fat strong guys can’t get any credit for that, aside from occasionally getting first-class seats on the team plane. They’re big and they’re fat and they’re strong, and their brains are absolutely turning into pudding thanks to CTE, and anyway, when you watch football on TV they don’t look like they’re doing anything but standing around and being fat. Look at the running backs! The running backs have the ball! Watch what they do with it. They jump and spin and run! Out of the way, fat guys! (The fat guys are like you and me, good honest Americans who do all the work around here and never get any credit for it). ((Fuck those big stupid fat guys, we don’t want to identify with them, do we?)). (((RUNNING BACKS RUN WITH THE BALL!!!)))!! ((((Like how we take the ball and run with it at our business meetings that are so important)))).
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