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I am an eyebrow; where do I live?

In my American opinion Shoreditch is Williamsburg with more black lace, an addiction to hairspray, and no Sparks.

In my American opinion Shoreditch is Williamsburg with more black lace, an addiction to hairspray, and no Sparks. Anyone who has hung out amongst the formerly fringetastic Ipso Facto clones may have noticed a decrease in the amount of lego ladies and an increase in eyebrow grooming (or an accentuation of a lack thereof.) Liquid liner isn't just for your lids, you know. Think Jennifer Connelly in Phenomena only darker and with a few less strays. To help me report on this East London trend, I have enlisted the help of the longtime queen (rather, Princess) of Shoreditch, Princess Julia. She's been a DJ and fashion icon for decades, has been in a zillion videos, and was famously the face of Visage's "Fade to Grey," and now co-runs P.i.X. Julia is a neutral source on this topic since she's chosen to live eyebrowless for years now.

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Vice: Hi Julia, how are you doing today?

Princess Julia: I'm good, spent the evening at Hot Boy Dancing Spot at the newly opened Dalston Superstore!

Wow. So here's how this is going to go. I'm going to show you some photos and make a comment, and then I want you to tell me what you think.

Now here are some nice eyebrows. Perfectly groomed, nice flattering shape. Not much of an arch but I'm not sure if that would even look good if she had one?

The eyebrows upon which all brows are based… instantly iconic. Miss Hepburn set a precedent here way back in the glamorous 50s. Did you know that "glamour" was invented around then?

I think these are all right, actually. Not as natural-looking as the first, but it works for her. The contrast with her blond hair is especially nice. It draws full attention to the eyebrows, which I'm sure was the idea. Job well done, woman.

Eyebrows, in fact, have a purpose, designed by nature to capture beads of sweat falling into your eyes. I take it this photo originates from the 80s and is supposed to be a natural look. I use the term loosely here, as these sweat-catchers have been heavily enhanced.

These eyebrows were actually at Dice Club like last month. The girl probably was born in the 80s though.

A little more effort could have been put in here. I'm not sure if it's the style of eyeshadow, but I think I can detect a few strays. God, they really do look shit compared to the other two, don't they? Somehow this reminds me of that man behind the dumpster in Mulholland Drive. Do you know what I'm talking about? A little swamp person. This must be before Madge discovered eyebrow threading…

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The divine Miss M did have quite an unruly brow to begin with. I liked them, actually. Oh, and have you noticed how Lourdes is carrying on the Madge's brow gene perfectly?
I have noticed anyways. Lourdes looks like she might turn into a real babe.

Yes! Now this is what I've been talking about! Drawn to perfection aren't they?

I love the way Sioux frames her eyes so expressively. A wonderment for us all to marvel at!

These are looking pretty good as well. A few strays but they're nice and dark. Plus she has the whole eagle/Lucifer thing going for her. They're sharp. Nice hair color as well--the contrast brings out those dark brows!

Look at this, up-to-date with a reverent nod towards the 80s. Here we are in the noughties and Miss Hanra who is Beauty Editor of i-D no less, works a timeless pose.

Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer. Get some fucking eyeshadow for those brows. I mean, she ALMOST has it, but it's too lazy for me. Its like they're wearing her when it should be the other way around. She is about 12 years old here, but would you want to be immortalized on film with caterpillars above your eyes? A little bit of work and she could have looked like this:

Better, right?

Aw… arrrghhhh, so pretty, I hate her! I always have this idea about being a feral kind of woman and this little feral girl is wonderful! Actually, I think this is Brooke Shields, dear…

No, it's not. But Brooke Shields… she's got quite a pair on her, doesn't she?

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OK…WTF. Not sure if I'm into this crinkly Nagel look. On a 2D illustration they're hot but it doesn't translate to real life very well. They are almost to her ears. She could wear them like glasses.

I like this sort of "Spock" look. See, I blame this on the New Romantic movement.

Wow! nice pair! Do you know who this is? It's you!

Ha Ha, yes it is. When I did have eyebrows they were indeed a fine pair! This shoot is when I was the Christmas cover girl for a magazine called 19.

These speak for themselves.

Like some little elfin creature from a magical forest, fantasy encapsulated. Some Dark Crystal shit going on there.

BEST ones. Like a beautiful sad clown. I love them. Look how the arch perfectly complements the bottom lid of her sullen eyes.

Very modern, I'd say. What a beautiful girl!