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Cry-Baby of the Week: A Cop Allegedly Shot a Woman Because She Honked at Him

Also this week: A guy freaked out because he saw some mice outside a McDonald's.
December 5, 2014, 7:00pm

​It's time, once again, to marvel at some idiots who don't know how to handle the world:

Cry-Baby #1: Kenneth Caplan

The incident: A woman honked at a man who cut her off on the freeway.

The appropriate response: Honking back if you don't think you deserved the honking. Maybe flipping the other driver off.

The actual response: The man allegedly shot the woman who honked at him.

Back on November 11, an unnamed 20-year-old woman was driving on the freeway in Houston.


The woman claims that she was cut off by a car being driven by Kenneth Caplan, a reserve deputy constable with Harris County Precinct 6.

Speaking to ​KHOU, the woman said she honked at the car and tried to drive around him. As she tried to pass him, she says, Caplan rolled down his window, pointed a gun at her, and opened fire.

"He was aiming at me and I thought he was going to cuss me out. It didn't register that I was, you know, going to get shot," the victim told ​Click2Houston. "The blood was in between my nails, just crazy blood."

"I just started crying because I knew I was going to die, I wanted to call my mom and tell her I love you," she added.

Luckily, the bullet had just grazed the woman's head and she was not seriously injured. She spent three days in the hospital, where she had eight staples put into her head.

In an unusual move for the United States of America, the cop who allegedly shot someone for no reason was actually arrested and charged with a crime. Specifically aggravated assault, which carries a sentence of five to 99 years. He was also fired.

Cry-Baby #2: James Jarvis

The incident: A man saw some mice outside a McDonald's.

The appropriate response: Nothing. This is where mice live. Outside of McDonald'ses.

The actual response:​ He complained to the McDonald's before taking his story to the local paper.

While visiting a McDonald's drive-thru in Tyburn, England, last weekend, 26-year-old factory worker James Jarvis saw some mice scurrying around outside.


"We spotted them as we were coming up to the first drive-thru window," he said. "Before we knew it, there were five, six, seven of them coming out from a gated area. It was disgusting."

After ​snapping some photos of the mice on his phone, James complained to the restaurant's staff. He was told that they knew about the mice and had put traps down. James responded by telling the worker that this "wasn't good enough."

James, who presumably will not be happy until every single fucking mouse on the planet has been eradicated and he is able to leave his house without fear of seeing one, then took his story to his local newspaper, the ​Birmingham Mail.

"It's not right to have mice roaming about near a fast food restaurant where there are kids about," James told the paper while ​thinking of the children.

McDonald's has blamed the mice on construction taking place near the restaurant. In a statement, the company said: "There is currently extensive roadworks taking place in close proximity to our restaurant and, on occasion, pests have been sighted in the area disturbed by the development works. We continue to work closely with our contractors to monitor the area."

James did not specify what he would like McDonald's to do about the situation. Maybe McDonald's can start building all of their restaurants on hovercrafts or something? IDK.

Which of these guys is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this little poll here:

Previously: ​The guy from Blink 182 said that streaming music was like killing elephants and a church refused to bury a woman because she hadn't donated enough money to them while she was dying.

Winner: The church!!!

Follow Jamie "Lee Curtis" Taete on ​Twitter.