If You Think Your Tweet Might be Racist, Chances Are Someone Else Will Too

Welcome to another edition of This Week in Racism. I’ll be ranking news stories on a scale of 1 to RACIST, with “1” being the least racist and “RACIST” being the most racist.

-Christmas is over, but it's still technically the holiday season—racists, however, never go on vacation. Being racist is one of those 24/7/365 jobs, like real estate agents, dog walkers, and Ryan Seacrest. Another gig that doesn't really afford one a break is that of a public relations executive. PR work involves managing the media perception of often high-profile clients—in other words, keeping important people from saying dumb shit.

It's not an easy job, and it requires one to anticipate the reaction to a public statement made by a famous person. That's why I'm still perplexed as to how Justine Sacco, the communications director for media conglomerate IAC, could possibly think that she could get away with tweeting, "Going to Africa. Hope I don't get AIDS. Just kidding. I'm white!" while on her way to Africa for a trip.

Twitter had a conniption fit over Sacco's tweet, berating her with the hashtag #HasJustineLandedYet. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution said this was potentially "cyberbullying," and Mashable referred to the onslaught of negative attention directed at Sacco as a "mob." Sacco was fired by her employer and she has since apologized.

I get why pundits think they need to jump to Sacco's defense. It's fun—and profitable—to be contrary on the internet, but if you are paid to protect the image of people you should pretty well be aware that what you say online will absolutely come back to haunt you. If nothing else, Sacco should have been better at hiding her racism. 7

-Sacco tried to be funny on Twitter and failed miserably, but actual comedians can't even catch a break online. Steve Martin had to apologize for the above tweet when the internet got its panties in a twist about his perceived racism. If you people (that's right, you people) think Steve Martin is racist, then there really is no hope for this world. I hate to be the one to explain this to the black community, but y'all's names are fucked up. As a test, I just now thought up the fakest-sounding black name I could think of—Shafonda—just to see if it was actually real. Guess what? It is.

If black folks want to persist in concocting bizarre, alphabet-soup names for their kids (or just plain misspell their names), then expect other people to make fun of you. The same goes for white people if you want to keep calling children things like Cody, Skyler, or Suri. 3

-Of course, black people can be just as offensive as white people. I submit as evidence NFL player Darnell Dockett. The defensive end for the Arizona Cardinals tweeted the above last week, but made it his personal mission to not apologize for his comment.

Points to Dockett for shaking things up, at least. This "gotcha" game has become so common that we can already anticipate how the media cycle will play out. The mea culpa is always just around the corner. But Dockett refused to play ball, and he continued to dig the hole the next day.

Saying sensitive people shouldn't be allowed to use the internet is like saying fat people shouldn't be able to eat cheeseburgers. Sorry, dude, but all the "this is a free country" and "the internet should be open" rhetoric that allows a person to make questionable statements goes both ways. For better or worse, the internet is an egalitarian forum for expression. Some of that expression is horrific, and some is reactionary and overly sensitive. The world contains an infinite variety of people, all with unique opinions. Making a comment in a public space invites disagreement.

If you have more than 10,000 followers on Twitter, you officially give up your right to say whatever you want without consequences. The more visible you are, the more likely you are to say something that a large percentage of the population finds offensive. If Phil Robertson from Duck Dynasty wasn't on TV, he'd just be another prejudiced country boy, but he is on TV—millions of people are interested in what he has to say, and will scrutinize those statements until they can no longer milk page views out of it. This is why famous people have PR teams to protect themselves from a media backlash. Unfortunately, in an age where everyone has a 140-character megaphone at their disposal, the pros can't even protect themselves. 5

By the way, there are actual racists on Twitter. Maybe we should all cut Steve Martin a break.

The Most Racist Tweets of the Week:

awh baby nigger are you mad because i'm richer, whiter AND have more rights than you?

— Raw ShadeY (@uhShadeY) December 27, 2013

I'm no racist but my hate for Mexicans and beer are at a all time high right now

— Young OG (@ThatDudeGill) December 25, 2013

I'm not racist but if Santa was black we would get robbed instead of getting gifts!

— Ronie (@Ronie_jrr) December 25, 2013

Ain't racist, but I don't trust Indians at airports..

— Young Jaime (@jaimemeraz787) December 23, 2013

So you can't tell fags they're going to hell and you can't call Obama a dumb nigger. What's next America

— Tony G (@MrGarciaaaa) December 20, 2013

@dave_schilling