Earlier this week, Arcade Fire's divisive seemingly never-ending Everything Now rollout found its way to The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. In advance of last night's performance on the show, the band sent through a self-mocking list of rider requests to the show: everyone on set had to wear Everything Now merch; nobody could talk to band member Richard Reed Parry "even if he talks to them first"; vegan hot dogs had to be provided. After The Late Show responded on Twitter calling the band "a bunch of tools," it was clear that Colbert himself would be playing along with the whole faceless-corporation schtick on-air. And last night, he really did.
"The Late Show's musical content—brought to you by Everything Now Corporation," said a female voice as the show returned from commercial. The camera cut to Colbert, holding an Everything Now-branded energy beverage, as stipulated in the fake rider. "And now enjoy a word from our sponsor," he said. What followed was a minute-long commercial which was completely absurd, irritating in its conceptual superiority, and actually quite funny.
"Everything Now. The two most beautiful words in the English language," said the generic commercial man. "And by combining them, Everything Now has become the go-to company for all things immediately. Everything now has cut out the middlemen, absorbed competitors, and dodged anti-trust violations in order to bring savings to you on billions of products that matter: Umbrellas, condoms, slow-cookers, the male romper, energy drink, prescription energy drink, self-propelled fidget spinners, indie rock credibility, and white male talk show hosts. Made from 100% carded board. We are everything now and, soon, you will be too."
They did play music, too, secondary though that may have been lately. "Everything Now" was still fun and upbeat, the flute line still dancey, the singalong still just about worthwhile. They followed it up with a web-only performance of "Creature Comfort," a song about suicide carried over a distressingly jaunty synth line. Everything Now may have sounded overwrought and lifeless, but the singles still stand up well enough on their own.
Watch the whole thing below.
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