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Mother Accidentally Serves Children Literal Bowl of (Pasta) Dicks

When her daughter asked for a box of 'smiley face' pasta, the 24-year-old mom didn't notice that they were, uh, penis-shaped until it was too late.
Photo via Facebook user Rebecca Brett

Parenting can be tough, unsparing work (just conjecture here—I’m not a parent!), so I really feel for poor Rebecca Brett. The 24-year-old Dunstable, UK resident claimed in a now-viral Facebook post from this past Saturday that she went down to her local supermarket with her three-year-old daughter Ava in tow.

Ava over here allegedly “begged for some 'smiley face' pasta” she saw in one of the aisles. So Brett bought this pasta without giving it a close look and cooked up a batch, feeding it to Ava and her 7-month old daughter for lunch.


That’s precisely when she realized this pasta wasn't shaped like a smiley face at all. It was shaped like, uh, a penis! I mean, look at this freakin' pork sword:

Photo via Facebook.

That’s certainly a schlong. Yes, sir. No denying it. Testicles, the head—it’s all there. A real member to remember.

“Thought it looked a bit odd, re-looked at the bag and IT’S ONLY BLOODY PENIS PASTA😩,” Brett wrote on Facebook. “How could I not even realise even while cooking it?! So my 3 year old and 7 month old are currently sat eating a bowl of dicks for their lunch.”

To Brett's surprise but likely no one else's, this flub went viral. 188,000 shares! 175,000 comments! And that's just as of Tuesday afternoon!

In another thoroughly unsurprising development, it brought out some humorless dipshits who seemed to accuse her of bad parenting for apparently only feeding her kids pasta. This caused her to post an addendum to her post that read, in part, that her kids “OBVIOUSLY HAVE MORE THAN JUST PASTA AND A VERY BALANCED DIET THANKYOU VERY MUCH TO ALL THE PARENT PREACHERS OUT THERE WHO FEEL LIKE THEY NEED TO TELL ME HOW TO PARENT MY OWN CHILDREN👍🏼"

Incredible. Brett could not be reached for comment on Tuesday regarding what brand of prick pasta this was, so I’m only left to wonder: Was it “Willy Shaped Pasta”? “Weenie Linguine”? “OMG International Pecker Pasta”? The world must know.