It's hard to be surprised by virtually any news item in this jittery, anxiety-induced shared delusion called "being alive in 2018," but the simulation spit out a doozy yesterday. Over the weekend, Azealia Banks—who always seems to find herself embroiled in basically unbelievable situations—let fly a series of Instagram stories reportedly from the Los Angeles abode of Elon Musk, where she'd been flown out on the invitation of Grimes, apparently under the assumption that they'd be making music together. Nothing's ever that easy though, and per Banks account, things quickly went sideways, leaving her alone for days in Musk's home while chaos unfolded around her.
In screenshots of the stories posted on Twitter—Noisey has not been able to independently verify that they were in fact posted by Banks—the New York rapper claims that she "waited around all weekend while grimes coddled her boyfriend for being too stupid to know not to go on Twitter while on acid." Which, who knows the facts of this particular situation, but buried in Banks' statement is some good advice: it's probably a good idea to stay away from mass communication technologies while you're on psychedelic drugs, especially if you're a beguilingly powerful tech magnate with a penchant for saying wild shit online already. Or, as a friend of mine put it, if you're tripping and not treating your phone like "a poisonous snake in your pocket," you might want to reconsider your priorities.
For Musk's part, he told Gizmodo via Twitter DM yesterday that he “has never even met [Banks] or communicated with her in any way.” A Tesla spokesperson also told Jalopnik that Banks' posts were "complete nonsense." Which, on one hand, is exactly what you'd say if your CEO were accused by a musician of accidentally torpedoing investors' faith in the company while consuming illegal substances. But I'm also willing to acknowledge that basically anything—or nothing at all—could have happened, because the world is increasingly unknowable, and as always, very stupid.