These Are The 'Sopranos' Locations We Most Want To Rent

If you're as pathologically invested in the legacy of The Sopranos as I am (there are literally dozens of us!), you probably don't need me to tell you that the Soprano family home in North Caldwell, New Jersey is on the market. The roughly 5,600-square-foot home is listed at a "starting price" of $3.4 million, a small price to pay to cook in the kitchen where Meadow made grilled cheese and Carmela flirted hard with Father Phil over movies.

The Soprano home is all well and good, but what about the rest of the show's iconic locations? We've rounded up the Sopranos pork stores, clubs, beach houses et al. we'd most like to hit the market next.

(Warning: spoilers ahead. I don't want to assume anyone has seen The Sopranos in its entirety or chide them for not having done so, I'm not your boyfriend from junior year of college.)

So, funny story about the Bada Bing: all shots there were filmed on location at Satin Dolls in Lodi, which was closed down when state authorities "contended the business was being run by a convicted racketeer who conspired with the Genovese crime family." Irony: it's like raiiiiiin, on your wedding day! Thankfully, the club triumphantly reopened last spring.

Ah, the pork store. The Sopranos men's' home away from home, non-tity edition, is based on the exterior of Centanni's. Don't you just want to pull up a nice folding chair outside and dig into a muzzadel'-and-gabagool sandwich?

The house that Furio built serves as an ongoing flirtation topic for him and Carmela, culminating in their sexy little Italian dance at his housewarming. Sadly, Furio's flamboyant taste in shirts isn't really echoed in the decor of his home, which is IRL located in Belleville.

Ah, Whitecaps, the Jersey Shore home that Tony plans to buy for Carmela. FYI, it's actually located at 420 Ocean Ave (blaze it) in the borough of Sea Bright. What it lacks in Hamptons flair, it makes up in heart—and waterfront access!

Who can forget the cheesy, '80s-style Italian restaurant that Tony Soprano burned down out of love for his childhood buddy Artie Bucco, who then rebuilt it along with his mean wife Charmaine? The real-life location of the restaurant is Punta Dura in Long Island City.

Therapist-office decor is a controversial topic, but Melfi's dark-paneled, womblike, tastefully appointed place of work allowed the great Tony Soprano to open up about his mother, his goomahs, his love for water fowl, and so much more, so something about it must have been therapeutic. There are no exterior shots of the office, but it's located on Bloomfield Ave in Montclair.

Formerly known as the Lollipop Club, Adriana la Cerva's business-venture-turned-den-of-mob iniquity is actually… the Templo Roca de mi Salvacion, a church in Newark. A club inside a converted church? Very Limelight!

Pizzaland is the kind of Sopranos monument that only real heads notice. Flashing up during the song's intro, the low-key pizza restaurant is exactly the kind of desolate semi-suburban spot I remember visiting with camp friends in Monclair, New Jersey, the kind where middle schoolers and mob guys alike gather for a decent slice. Pro tip: Pizzaland is real, and it's located off the Belleville Turnpike.

Ah, Holsten's, the place where it all ended, the place where Tony Soprano—SPOILER—died (maybe??? yes), the place where the immediate Soprano clan came together to share onion rings and familial bonding. Look at those wall frescoes of Bloomfield, New Jersey! Real Nuovo Vesuvio vibes.