Tech

A Tour of Pornhub’s Totally SFW Videos

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Whether you visit Pornhub regularly or pretend that you don’t, you probably know why it’s one of the most visited websites on the internet: MILFs, hentai, anal, threesomes—whatever video you want of people fucking, Pornhub probably has it.

Videos by VICE

What you might not have known is that Pornhub also has a collection of videos that aren’t pornographic at all. I mean, I’m sure you can masturbate to them if you tried, but that’s not what they were made for.

Take Jed Whitaker’s Hot Pooper Gaming show, for example. It’s filed under the “Solo Male” category, where you’d usually find men jerking off, but Whitaker, who also writes about games for Destructoid, is simply reviewing games while a variety of butts—male and female—twerk in the background.

Jed Whitaker’s Hot Pooper Gaming show on Pornhub. Credit: Jed05

“They were a really stupid series I did on my secondary YouTube channel a while ago, and I think one of them got flagged mature, so I couldn’t monetize it,” Whitaker told me.

Whitaker said that he jokingly made the Pornhub account just to say he has one, but that he hasn’t monetized it yet because Pornhub is one of the only sites that requires two government IDs in order to set up a monetized account.

“[I] never got any shit in Pornhub though, maybe some downvotes,” he said. “Uploading is the same as YouTube really, make an account, and you can upload.”

The ease with which you can upload videos helps explain why Pornhub hosts some even more innocuous gaming videos.

For example, filed under the “Party,” “POV,” and “Gangbang” categories is a montage of professional eSports team FaZe Clan tearing up the competition in Call of Duty. There’s a Counter-Strike montage as well if that’s your bag, and even an excellent parody of first-person shooter montages that makes fun of their aggressive use of quick cuts, lens flare, and dubstep.

A first-person shooter montage parody. Credit: MLG_Joan.

Things get a little weirder once you get through the gaming videos. For example, I have no way of explaining why Pornhub is hosting a video of YouTuber and food reviewer Ken Domik eating a McDonald’s Chicken Bacon Onion Sandwich. The original video is still up on his YouTube channel, but on Pornhub it’s titled “SUPER HOT DILF REVIEWS JUICY MCDONALDS BURGER.”

Domik hasn’t responded to my request for comment, so it’s unclear if he’s even aware that his video is on Pornhub. This is the only video that user “chlamydia” has uploaded, which leads to believe it’s probably a prank, but we can’t know for sure.

The hot DILF. Credit: chlamydia

There seems to be a whole category of prank and joke videos on Pornhub. A good conceptual piece is “TWO HOT INVISIBLE AND SILENT LESBIANS FUCK ON THE FLOOR,” which is just an empty shot of the floor.

Pornstar Alexis Texas is tagged in this video, but she’s invisible. Credit: hnnnnnng

In the same vein, but not as clever, is a video titled “HARDCORE PUSSY GETS WRECKED,” which is just a clip from the 2011 animated movie starring Antonio Banderas as Puss in Boots.

Get it? Credit: cutiecannibal

These are just a small sample of Pornhub’s safe for work videos. You don’t have to dig too deep to find a whole weird world of vaporwave videos, nonsensical psychedelia, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time speedruns, and more.

So yeah, you already know Pornhub as your one stop shop for all things porn, but it has so much more to offer.