From the druids in its Healing Fields to those scaling scaffolding to reach the sermon being delivered from the summit of a gigantic fire-breathing spider, people make the pilgrimage to Glastonbury every year searching for enlightenment. And judging by all the intense 4AM drum circles and gym heads embracing pensioners I saw this year, they appeared to have found it.
Considering these sesh pilgrims have evidently discovered so much, are they now able to answer the greatest riddle: The Meaning of Life? And would the drug they were on make any difference to their response? There was only one way to find out.
Girl: "The meaning of life is freedom!"
Boy: "And happiness!"
Girl: "And to make friends and do good!"
Boy: "You need to be happy! And seize the moment!"
Girl: "No, they need to talk to strangers because everybody is actually really lovely."
Boy: "Yeah, everybody is actually really happy – they just need to crack the shell of the outer bit."
Girl: "Get to the yolk!"
Boy: "Yeah! Get to the yolk! That's the important bit. Nobody wants the white."
Girl: "Yeah, I throw away the white!"
Boy: "You all want the yolk."
Girl: "Eat eggs!"
Boy: "But only the whites. No, only the yolk!"
"Living, festivals, getting off your tits. What would be my advice for somebody who wants to live better? Have some MDMA. Live life, take MDMA and have a good time."
Man: "To enjoy yourself, have fun and connect with the living things around you."
Man: "You know, when I was around about your age an old man came up to me at a party in Goa, India, and said, 'Do you want any advice?' And I said, 'Yeah, alright.' I'm 22 [at the time]. He said, 'Get a job you like, and a really good quality mattress. Because you'll spend half your life working and the other half sleeping.'"
"I reckon, probably, the meaning of life is to work out some kind of understanding between people and progress as humans. Erm, yeah. I'm going to leave it there. Be nice to everybody; be compassionate."
BALLOONS AND SYNTHETIC MUSHROOMS
In high-pitched voice: "This is my life! I will own your souls."
"Who knows, man? Fuck's sake. Why did I pick Sunday night to do this tab? I really wanna do it, but I want there to be exciting shit going on that I can look at. I don't just wanna be on my own staring at a tree for three hours or something."
"Having a good time, being decent to people, experience. Seeing the positive things in life, not just a cup being half-empty or full. And make sure the cup is filled with water. I'm on water. There's never enough water, no matter how many times you go. And remember, nobody ever wants to be a dick. Something has happened to them to make them miserable and that's why they're being a dick to you. So give them the benefit of the doubt. I bet it's really nice getting enlightenment and earning money, isn't it?"