Life

ADHD Myths, According to People Who Actually Have It

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This article originally appeared on VICE Romania.

How many times have you heard someone who’s half paying attention to what you’re saying tell you they have ADHD? In the past couple of decades, people have become more aware of this neurodevelopmental disorder, and started throwing the term around without really knowing what it means.

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ADHD or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is one of the most common mental health conditions affecting the behaviour and thought-processing of children and teenagers. Usually, the condition is diagnosed under the age of 12 and improves with age, but many adults are affected by it, too.

The most common signs of ADHD are difficulty concentrating, restlessness, impulsiveness. But in adults, the condition can lead to a variety of behaviours that can often be misdiagnosed as depression or bipolar disorder, since these conditions have many symptoms in common.

Globally, about five percent of children and teenagers are affected by ADHD. But not all adults with ADHD are diagnosed during childhood. A 2021 meta-analysis of previous studies determined that 6.76 percent of the adult population presents ADHD symptoms, but only 2.58 percent of them were sure they presented those symptoms during childhood.

The exact causes of ADHD are still unknown, but we know it has to do with a deficiency in the two neurotransmitters in the brain: dopamine and norepinephrine. People with ADHD tend to lock onto tasks that stimulate them, such as a favourite game or a topic of interest. Medication for people with ADHD can also help by stimulating the production of these neurotransmitters.

ADHD can profoundly affect your life, both at school, at work and in relationships. I spoke to five young adults with ADHD about what they’d like the world to know about their condition.

‘People with ADHD can’t see beyond today and, at most, tomorrow’

“I work in the UK where I’ve had several jobs, from delivery driver to estate manager. I also have a YouTube channel where I talk about ADHD. I ended up seeing a doctor after a very good friend of mine, already diagnosed, noticed some symptoms in me he also had: a chaotic lifestyle, a lot of projects I could never finish, depression, anxiety and the impossibility of choosing a professional field.

People with ADHD can’t see beyond today and, at most, tomorrow. Although we do make plans, almost any stimulus that comes up in the present can overshadow them. This also generates a very low tolerance for change, as well as a high level of frustration when we’re faced with it. We procrastinate and we finish projects at the last minute, only after we’re faced with the fear of consequences [for our inaction] and we enter fight or flight mode. If we don’t get proper treatment, we can suffer from burnout.

These are all depression-like symptoms, which is why ADHD is often misdiagnosed by doctors. To compensate for the lack of satisfaction, we feel a constant need for stimuli and we do impulsive things.

I’m one of the lucky patients. Medication works for me and has almost no side effects, but I also try to exercise and have a balanced diet – it helps. A lot of my symptoms have improved now, but not all of them: I always forget things, I change jobs often because I lose interest quickly and routine, repetitive tasks are my main enemies.

ADHD also means feeling emotions very intensely, whether they’re positive or negative. On a personal level, you always feel misunderstood when you have ADHD. But you can form beautiful friendships with other people on the neurodiversity spectrum, because they can more easily understand certain behaviours and difficulties in relationships.

When I tell people around me I have ADHD, I often hear the following comments (especially from older people): “How come? You were such a good and smart child”, “OMG, they’re inventing a new disease every year”, “There was no ADHD in my day” or “You’re making excuses”. These attitudes discourage people from taking their condition seriously, from seeing a specialist for a thorough evaluation and from accessing treatment that’d improve their quality of life.” – Cătălin Băraru, 36.

‘We need empathy and understanding from those around us – we’re aware that our symptoms affect them too’

“I was only diagnosed with ADHD at 24, after years of suspecting I had it. I realised I couldn’t function properly as an adult and all my concentration problems became big obstacles in my career. My symptoms include lack of concentration, poor time perception, difficulty organising even when I feel motivated, low tolerance for routines, problems understanding things, intense and uncontrollable emotions, as well as depression and anxiety.

For a long time, I thought there was something wrong with me – if only I pushed myself enough, I’d be able to function like the people around me. But after I was diagnosed, I found my own way of working.

In [my country’] Romania, psychologists don’t take you seriously. Many told me I couldn’t possibly have ADHD because I speak well and I finished my studies – even though I always had to put much more effort into them than people around me for mediocre results. Medical professionals aren’t informed enough about how the disorder manifests itself, beyond the well-known idea of hyperactive boys who are disruptive and get bad grades at school.

We need empathy and understanding from those around us, we’re aware that our symptoms affect them, too. I’ve had many nasty interactions because of this – I was even bullied at work because some people thought I was incapable or uninterested. This also happened at school and in my relationships, so I struggled a lot to convince people they could rely on me.

Now that I’m taking the right treatment, I feel I have a better chance in my career. ADHD helps me come up with good ideas in the creative field I work in.” – Ioana, 25. Her name has been anonymised for privacy reasons, like others in this piece.

‘The hardest thing for me is the intensity of emotions and the fact people don’t understand me’

“When I was 31, the psychiatrist treating me for anxiety realised I might have ADHD and sent me for an evaluation. I’ve been on medication ever since, and it’s changed my life for the better. The disorder really affects my ability to focus – if I wasn’t completely passionate about something, I’d forget details and appointments.

The hardest thing for me is the intensity of emotions and the fact people don’t understand me. It hurts me to get answers like, “These are problems we all deal with.” It’s one thing to have a problem once a month and another to face it ten times a day. We really try, but the results aren’t directly proportional to our efforts.

There are many preconceived ideas about this disorder, and there should be more information about this in the media – I think it’s extremely difficult to live with ADHD if  you don’t take proper medication.” – Oana, 32.

‘Now I’m on medication and it’s like I’m a different person’

“I was diagnosed through a series of ADHD forms I filled out online last year, with the help of my wife and parents. For me, this condition mainly caused a terrible mess in my physical and mental life – I had a messy closet and a messy brain. I’ve always procrastinated to the extreme, until the very last moment, which is what I did during high school, college, my master’s degree and at my job.

I’m smart and I’ve always done a good job – I pride myself on doing very well under stress. Actually, that’s more of a consolation, because I can’t help it. Now I’m on medication and it’s like I’m a different person – I can concentrate and I don’t leave everything to the last minute. I’m very lucky with my wife, she understands me. She texts me so I don’t forget things and doesn’t get mad at me when I do.” – Claudiu, 39.