Don't buy a box of chocolates. Just don't. You'll look like every other jerk waiting in line at the drugstore with your heart-shaped box of stale confectionary, which, if you're lucky, might even have one or two of those amaretto-filled bonbons inside.
That's no way to live.
Show your significant other—or, hell, just yourself—how deep your love goes with a homemade chocolate pudding pie. Read that again: Chocolate. Pudding. Pie.
And if that sounds terrible complicated to you, you're probably drunk. This rich-as-hell pie requires exactly eight ingredients, most of which you probably have at home right now.
RECIPE: Chocolate Pudding Pie
First, make a shortbread crust. They call it shortbread because it's basically bread for cheaters—no rising, no fancy nothin'. Just mix some flour, sugar, and salt with melted butter, press it into a pie tin, and you're done.
Then, make the simplest but most decadent pudding in the world: melted chocolate and cream blended with some sugar, eggs, and vanilla. You're gonna fold even more whipped cream into that before you're through. Pour your pudding into your pie crust, let it cool, and you're done.
Congrats: You just made a custom Valentine's Day treat, but you don't have to share it with anyone if you don't want to.