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Tom Brady Has Magical Pajamas He'd Like to Sell You

There is something called bioceramic print on the pajamas that will help harness far infrared energy. For health, or something.

Tom Brady wants to sell you super special jammies that help your body recover while you sleep. They have something called "far infrared waves." What does that mean? According to, it's the equivalent of Reiki. "Far Infrared Rays are invisible waves of energy that have the ability to penetrate all layers of the human physical body, penetrating into the inner-most regions of the tissues, muscles and bone."


This shirt, though, it's a good one. It's "engineered with TB12 recovery technology," according to UnderArmour. What does that mean? I have no idea. Here is a paragraph from the site, um, explaining:

Far Infrared is a type of energy on the infrared spectrum that has several benefits for the human body. TB12 technology was developed to harness it even when you're resting. The soft bioceramic print on the inside of the garment absorbs the body's natural heat and reflects Far Infrared back to the skin. This helps your body recover faster, promotes better sleep, reduces inflammation, and regulates cell metabolism.

Look, we know that Brady is basically ageless at this point. He just had one of the greatest seasons ever and he's 39. His diet is ridiculously austere and it works for him. There's no doubting that. He wants to play another decade, and at this point I'm not going to be one to doubt him. He could be out there at 55, slinging touchdowns to Rob Gronkowski 2.0 and still beating the Jets, and it would seem plausible. "Yup, that's classic Brady," we'd all Snapchat in virtual reality.

Does that mean you need to buy his space wizard sleeping shirt? Maybe not.

Maybe we should have seen this coming. Brady previously has contemplated selling his sports immortality secrets. In a 2014 profile of Brady, Sports Illustrated's Greg Bishop brought up his TB12 company and the sports therapy center Brady owns, run by Alex Guerrero, "a 49-year-old California native with a master's degree in traditional Chinese medicine" who Boston Magazine called a "glorified snake-oil salesman."

"I used to joke with Alex," Brady told SI, "one day, we have to go on the road. We have to teach people. This is what people really need to know."

Something people also need to know? One long sleeve shirt costs $99.99. Pants will also cost you another hundo. If you're OK with your forearms being a little less recovered than the rest of your body, you can snag yourself a short-sleeve shirt for just $79.99.