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Don't Trust A-Rod Because Trust is for Cowards

Sure, A-Rod is no Derek Jeter. But Derek Jeter's Age 25 season couldn't carry A-Rod's jock.

Trust is for cowards. If that's not a famous saying, or at least a No Fear t-shirt, it should be. Thom Loverro, one of the last of baseball's dying breed of righteous trolls, thinks we shouldn't trust A-Rod. Isn't that adorable? Hey guys, you know this person that plays a game that we all (some more than others, apparently) enjoy watching on our televisions? Don't trust him. Don't trust the baseball man and his baseball feats. His home runs are lies, just like his words. A worthy sentiment, no? Trust, after all, is the single most important facet of any human relationship. It is the very foundation upon which friendship is made. But in the context of baseball, and Alex Rodriguez, what does that even mean? It literally means nothing.


If a friend or family member or spouse violates your trust, it rocks you to your core. You've essentially abdicated your own instincts, and placed them in the hands of another. That is why trust is rarely placed in acquaintances, let alone perfect strangers. So is this how you, Thom Loverro,will feel if A-Rod gets busted with Ben Johnson or plutonium in his veins, as you so hilariously write? Powerless? Rocked to your core? I hope not, because you are, by all accounts, an adult with a job and a college education, a license to drive, and probably the right to vote. I hope to God you have no strong reaction one way or the other to a baseball player taking performance enhancing drugs. I hope if you have a small child who idolizes an athlete later busted for PEDs, that you have the wherewithal to a.) discourage that idolatry, or at least make it clear that these people are flawed humans just like everyone else and, b.) reinforce in that small child the notion that baseball doesn't fucking matter in the grand scheme of things because you are an adult who knows this.

And yet…

We're supposed to believe that a player at his age can recapture the glorious, if fraudulent, years of his youth by starting the season batting .314 with four home runs and 11 RBI through 11 games.

We're supposed to believe — just one year removed from watching Derek Jeter, at the age of 39, look every bit his age in his final season, batting just .256 with only two home runs and 35 RBI — that A-Rod is immune to the same effects of age.


We're supposed to believe that watching what we are seeing from Alex Rodriguez is for real — that this is some sort of miraculous comeback?


Let us forget for one moment that a man paid to write about baseball decided to compare Alex Rodriguez's tangible production to Derek Jeter's. Just forget all about that right now because—again, I hope—no one who has ever in his life watched a second of either man play baseball would ever do that unless he was a hack trying to distract you with some narrative about Good Guys vs. Bad Guys. Instead, just let the words wash over you. We're supposed to believe…we're supposed to believe…we're supposed to be believe? Please.

You're not supposed to do anything, man. You're supposed to watch baseball, root for your team, and hate the others. This is why fans are walking away from baseball. Hacks villainize players until there are only two sides left: the side that agrees with the hacks, and the side that doesn't want to deal with it anymore. And this is exactly why Alex Rodriguez is single-handedly bringing me back. He's got all the hacks scrambling. Christ, Loverro just tried to compare him to Derek Jeter's age 39 season. Can you believe that? Derek Jeter's Age 25 season couldn't carry A-Rod's jock, so am I surprised he looks better than Jeets did last year? No, Thom. No I am not. But so many, not just Loverro, have evidently put their trust in the wrong person, so I want to offer some words I hope will help.

These ballplayers, they are flawed like you and me. It's OK to watch them and enjoy yourself vicariously through their fun out on the field, but you have to remember, in the grand scheme of things, it's just a game. They are just people playing baseball.