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Vermin Supreme Is Still Running For President, So Ponies For Everybody

Vermin Supreme, everyone's favorite OG meme and experimenter in boot fashion, has announced he's still running for president, according to this video from conservative muckraking site The Blaze. I believe he's running on a platform of outright honesty...

Vermin Supreme, everyone’s favorite OG meme and experimenter in boot fashion, has announced he’s still running for president, according to this video from conservative muckraking site The Blaze. I believe he’s running on a platform of outright honesty, an assumption based on his pronouncement that we should trust him to run our lives. While that catch-all (Run all of our lives? Will he cook me dinner?) embodies the type of extreme government intrusion that nanny state-fearers love to all-caps about, Supreme’s straightforwardness has surprisingly inspired a whole (privately-owned) truckload of “at leest hes better then baranga o’bumma” comments wherever it’s been posted.

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Of course, Supreme’s presidential aspirations are nothing new; Motherboard paid him a visit earlier this year to check in on the man who’s turned his internet fame into an outlet for lampooning the political process. Or was it the other way round? Either way, Supreme’s promise of ponies for everybody should resonate more this election cycle than it has in the last century and a half, thanks to everyone being so poor that we can’t afford our cars. And his various boot-hats will also help galvanize voters in every region, with the coastal elites being drawn to his avant-garde fashion, while values voters can identify with his working-man sensibility and general aptitude for pulling boot straps. The only thing holding him back is his ground game, which I believe consists of only himself, but with his internet stickiness, I’d bet on him getting at least a single vote this November.

Follow Derek Mead on Twitter: @derektmead.