Photo via YouTube.
In March, the sleuths at MUNCHIES brought you news of a curious and perhaps inefficient method that some patriotic Americans are using to cook their bacon: on the barrels of their machine guns.The conservative establishment must be strong among our readership, because just today we've learned that Tea Partier, Republican presidential hopeful, and Planned Parenthood nemesis Ted Cruz is all about the bacon/gun combo, too.
In a video released today, the Texas senator explains, "We cook bacon a little differently than most folks," before wrapping a few rashers around the barrel of his gun, securing the whole thing with aluminum foil, and firing off a few clips in a gun range."Mmm, machine gun bacon," he grins, tasting his pork crisped with maximum firepower.The video was produced by conservative media outlet IJ Review, which offers Upworthy-esque hot takes like "Rocks Were Thrown Through Retired Wrestler's Car Window- All Because Of What's Painted On the Back" (a giant Confederate flag and Civil War battle tableau) and "Cecil The Lion May Be Dead. But One Woman Claims He Has a Message From 'The Afterlife.'" The IJ Review is decidedly pro-bacon.While using a gun barrel isn't the most economic way of heating one's pork, Cruz is not exactly someone who's guided by the principle of parsimony. Recall that in 2013 the senator embarked on a 21-hour filibuster (of sorts) and helped to precipitate a government shutdown that lasted for more than two weeks. All because he hates Obamacare.He may want to abolish the IRS, but this a man who truly likes doing things the long and hard way. Perhaps he should consider sous vide next time.