There are three types of people in this world: cat haters, the cat-friendly, and cat freaks. Speaking from personal experience, it is possible to jump from the first category into the last. I grew up with huge, friendly dogs and for the first couple of decades of my life, couldn’t imagine a version of myself that would love cats, let alone own one. After all, they crap in your house, have sharp claws, and will suddenly bat at you if you happen to give them a scritch a mere two inches outside of the radius of their designated Pet Me Zone™. Who would want one of these wretched creatures?
But alas, life is full of surprises, and sometimes you go to the shelter thinking you’re going to adopt a Husky mix named Jughead only to find out that he’s totally maladjusted via a terrifying three-page handwritten note from his former owner, and suddenly find yourself signing papers to instead take home an incredibly lazy but unmistakably perfect Ragdoll that came from a hoarder house in Palmdale, a horrible place where it’s hard to believe this pure, beautiful creature spent the first six years of its life. That cat, despite being the most docile animal on the planet, might then proceed to totally take over your life and home, and challenge your strong interior decorating sensibilities through your need to bring her an increasing number of surfaces on which to lie in repose, scratch, and sleep.
Something I quickly realized upon becoming a nouveau cat owner is that most cat furniture is butt-ugly. I refused to suddenly become one of those people with a grimy, hair-covered, beige-carpeted cat tower totally throwing off the feng shui of my otherwise tightly curated bachelorette pad. But sometimes, shopping on the internet is like the Lord of the Rings trilogy; you must trudge through caves and swamps, mired by hideous creatures, in order to reach your final destination.
There are two approaches you can take when buying pet furniture: go for stuff that seamlessly fades into the background of your Scandinavian-minimalist or mid-century-chic decor, or lean into the fact that there’s a literal animal running around in your house and go for statement pieces that at least have something to say, a sort of bold confidence in your cat-freakiness that creates a conversational centerpiece. Maybe you want to showcase your undoubtedly majestic beast in a stunning, woven African basket bed, or perhaps you’re more of a Pendleton classicist. You may be in search of something towering if you’ve got a climber, or perhaps your little Puff prefers to splay herself on the floor like one of your French girls. There’s something for everyone!
Here are the best finds in both categories, so that you and your wonderful fur son may live in happy aesthetic harmony.
CAT FURNITURE THAT BLENDS IN
A true-neutral and deeply inoffensive perch
Cats like to hide in stuff, and if you don’t give them a cozy spot to designate as their lair, they will pick a random cabinet in your house to totally bogart. This silo is sleek and scratchable, with versatile looks that won’t scream “I kiss my cat on the mouth” to anyone who walks in the door.
Cat Silo, $149 at Litterbox
If your cat takes weekend getaways to Joshua Tree
This cat listens to Devendra Banhart and has taken ayahuasca a couple of times. Or maybe this cat is an artist who plays with forms drawn from industrial woodworking. This wicker number will match all your other rattan stuff, and the cushion has a removable, washable cover.
Sauder Pyramid Cat Nester, $143 at Walmart
For hiding the awkward reality that your cat takes a dump in your house
No one can pretend that there aren’t some weird parts to being roommates with a cat, the most obvious of which is the fact that you have to scoop their shit out of a pile of gravel every other day. But you know what? That probably still beats having to wake up and get dressed at 7 AM when you’re hung over so that your dog can go pee in a pile of half-melted snow and try to eat a discarded chicken bone off the sidewalk. Plus, these days, you can easily hide the litter box in a CB2-esque enclosure like this so no one is the wiser that they are mere feet away from fecal matter.
Dyad Litter Box Enclosure,
$139.99 $123.80 at Wayfair
Orange is a shade of confidence and this litter box cover looks like it wouldn’t ruin an Architectural Digest home tour.
Rinaldi Litter Box Enclosure,
$131.35 $123.99 at Wayfair
Whoever invented this should be a millionaire, for sure. If the creator of the fake-planter litter box went on Shark Tank, all five sharks should be in. This was an ambitious idea, but it worked out. Throw it in the corner of the bathroom or living room and kinda tilt the hole away from the door, and wow, you’re just a responsible plant owner.
Good Pet Stuff Hidden Cat Litter Planter,
$89.99 $64.99 at Chewy
If Don Draper was a cat guy…
Cat guys are hot (within reason). If you are a man and you have up to two cats that you take good care of, it actually makes you more attractive—this is fact. Imagine that this piece, with its slanted legs and maybe a cool Bengal inside, was Don Draper’s nightstand. Fetch me my smelling salts.
Wexler 501s Pet Bed, $399 at Etsy
If you also need a spot to stash some TASCHEN books
Maybe you’re scrolling and thinking, OK, these are nice but I actually need something that performs the functions of an ugly carpeted cat tower without actually being one. All good—like a cat, I am psychic. This pyramid is perfect for climby bois but can also stash books and knickknacks, and is mercifully not covered in disgusting shearling that looks like it came out of a crime scene photo.
Litter Robot Cat Pyramid, $189 at Litter Robot
For those who dig an ultra-chunky knit
It can be cute when your cat sleeps in your bed, but less cute when your cat clings to your skull all night like the Facehugger from Alien. Offer the demon this bed—it’s a little bit Legends of the Fall, a little bit late 90s Abercrombie & Fitch catalog.
Aticus Round Cat Bed, $53.99 at Wayfair
If you are a rich artist in a sun-drenched loft
These custom-made macrame cat hammocks are part-wall-hanging, part luxurious bed on which your urchin-child can relax. Everything down to the cushion color and the yarn color can be customized.
Natural Handmade Cat Tree, $132.18 at Etsy
CAT FURNITURE THAT STANDS OUT
We didn’t know cat furniture could be this cool
Woven by hand in Ghana, this truly unique cat bed looks like an ancient beehive-holder, or a high-fashion helmet. The colors, the artisanal vibe, the conical top??? Huge wow factor here. We’re ready to throw out all of our other furniture.
African Heritage Modern Cat Bed Furniture, $162 at Etsy
If your cat is a #vanlife influencer
Some cats will only chill in a bed if it fully surrounds them in epic 360 comfort. That’s where Pendleton’s ‘Kuddler’ comes in, folks. And the Southwestern print will go perfectly with all your vintage throws from New Mexico.
Classics Kuddler, $169 at 2Modern
Ah, a little more Pendleton. The 70s sunset color scheme makes us want to throw on some Allman Brothers and spark a doob. All the comforting energy of your parents’ basement.
Grand Canyon Small Pendleton Pet Bed, $99.99 at Bed Bath and Beyond
For the former VSCO girl influencers on TikTok
If you’ve been keeping up with the times, surely you’ve noticed that cow print, at some point during the unmanageable chaos of 2020, snuck back into fashion. It’s bold, graphic, kind of weirdly nostalgic in a PeeWee Herman-type way, and, being animal print, is automatically a neutral. It stands out but doesn’t try too hard, and will look downright intentional even if it’s just in a corner on the floor.
Mau Lifestyle Fluffi Memory Foam Dog Bed, $109 at Chewy
For when you want to think about eating your cat (which is perfectly normal and healthy)
If you’ve made it this far on the cat-furniture internet without getting into the conceptual niche that turns your cat into a facsimile of food, we say: wow, how? There are banana peel beds, hot dog beds, bread beds, but this fruit tart bed that makes your cat into the custard of a delicious French pastry is probably the ultimate.
Fruit Tart Pet Cushion, $27.99 at Amazon
Well, besides this.
Noodle Bed Instant Ramen Dog Bed Pet bed, $65 at Etsy
Congratulations: You have become a cat freak. But you already knew that.
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