Every holiday season, you'll see about a bajillion gift guides out there, ranging from the basic (get Dad a tie! get Mom a robe!) to the advanced (Brutalist calendars! phone cases that look like a butcher knife!). And while we're massively grateful for all of these guides—and truly wish to service our readers with all of the ones we've put together—sometimes, nothing really compares to a personal touch [squirts massage oil into hands].
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What do we mean by that? Well, we're talking about gift ideas that are so unabashedly incredible, we literally want them for ourselves. We're talking about the shit we're bookmarking, screenshotting, DMing to the squad, and leaving open in a tab for weeks under the impression that somehow it will go way down in price (and occasionally, it does!). We gathered up our writers and editors and compiled a comprehensive gift guide to the stuff so maddeningly sick that we, ourselves, are obsessed with it—whether from afar or from personal experience. Read on for the best gift ideas for your boo, your mama, your piano teacher, your skate park crush, your club hookup, or just straight up yourself. When will someone finally take me seriously enough to give me this work of art? Yes, it’s a glorious, handcrafted shrimp made of wax, almost too perfect to burn, and it’s at the tippity-top of my wishlist this year. As someone with a serious shrimp fetish, nothing would make me squeal with delight more than unwrapping this shrimp cocktail for one. —Becca BlasdelNever thought I’d describe a fog machine as “status,” but then Rick Owens—of course it was Rick Owens—came along and made a gold fog machine, complete with its own stainless steel carrying case. In a past life, I was a DJ and I was always, always begging for the fog machine to be cranked higher. In my dreams, this is the fog machine I’d load with Bog Fog and use to create a sweaty, strobe-y swamp on the dance floor. Yes, it is $5,250. I will not be taking any more questions at this time. —Hilary Pollack
A sculptural shrimp candle
A status fog machine
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This mini Atari
A candle that smells way more expensive than it is
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The ideal gift for a Taurus (or anyone who lives to sleep)
Big bossy headphones
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Trompe l'oeil soaps that are just too good
A subscription for espresso freaks
Caress the windows to their soul
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Probably the best bagel slicer ever made
The heavy metal version of a Carrie necklace
It’s not a Peloton (but it doesn’t have to be)
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The Bonne Maman jam advent calendar
A turntable for soon-to-be record nerds
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SKIMS’ crazy-cozy sleep set
CBD gummies that actually rule
A black-and-white view on the classic disposable camera
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Make your pet look like they’re going to a wedding in Joshua Tree
Huge, fluffy UGG slippers
The Trinity of luxury hand care
A silk pillowcase
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A cooler that looks and is cool
The it-bag from heaven
For the friend who always flexes how much they love spicy food
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A personalized necklace for your dog
Do it for the mems
The little home bar gift to stuff in a stocking
Star Wars Legos for nostalgic joy
The foolproof classic Carhartt beanie
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.