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Vice Blog

MIDNIGHTLY JUGGERNEWS

Unless you're Bono and have nightly telephone conversations with Jesus Christ, keeping up with the news can be difficult when you're touring with a band. We spoke to Andy from Midnight Juggernauts just a few days after they got back from the UK and South America. And while he was excited about being home and working on new music, he struggled a little with our specially devised Viceland News Quiz. But don't feel bad for him. I'd take snorkeling in Argentina over a little bit of trivia any day. VICE: Welcome back Andy. Now, starting with the big stuff: it was reported in the paper today that one of Britney Spears' bodyguards quit. What was the reason?
Andy: Ah… I missed this one. What happened?

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Well, part of his job was making sure she always wore underwear and she like, never wore underwear and eventually he just found it was too much work for the money.
That's insane!

Yeah. And I think there was some sexual harassment going on as well.
What news service was this in?

It was pretty big on The Age website.
Shit. Missed it.

That's OK. I thought you would have got that one but let's move on. This one's local. Ready?
Yep.

An 18 year old Melbourne girl tied a burns victim to a chair with electrical chord, doused him in kerosene and forcibly fed him dog food. What was her motive?
Holy crap! There was a story recently about a person getting lit at a petrol station… was that the same story? I don't know… OK why?

She claims he spread rumors that she punched his girlfriend in the face. That's it.
Oh my goodness.

Totally. It's like "I would never punch your girlfriend in the face and to prove it, I'm going to kidnap and torture you."
So that wasn't the one where the person was set on fire at the petrol station was it? Because I did see that one.

Yeah, there have been a few burn victim stories as of late. I guess it's hard to read all of them, isn't it? Right, next question is: What's going on in Israel?
Um… I know that there was a boat trying to bring aid supplies… was it from Ireland?

Correct.
And they shot at… did they shoot at a boat? I know there's been a lot of protests, people like Elvis Costello who are pulling out of shows. And then there as this new boat and Israel were following it… How was that, am I kind of right?

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Correct.
Got one!

Nice. In a related question, true or false: the Madrid Gay Pride Parade has banned Israeli's from participating in retaliation to the violence in Gaza.
Wow. (Deep breath) I wouldn't be surprised if they had. I don't know this answer but my gut says yes. True.

Correct. That's two from two in the Middle East. Impressive.
Hey!

Back on home soil for this one. What industry does the Resource Super Profits Tax effect?
No, I can't help you. Oh wait, is that the recent story about the miners?

Correct.
The one with billionaires protesting in the streets? In Perth or something?

Whoa, take it easy Young Einstein. Correct already. OK, this one's a tough one. Who is Australia playing first in the World Cup?
I think they're playing… Germany. How's that?

That would be correct. Easy. And another World Cup question: what is the name of this year's World Cup anthem?
Ah… no. I don't know.

OK it's Heart's On Fire
Really?

But I don't think it's Cut Copy. Hey, you were on a roll for a moment there. Hopefully you'll get this last one right and finish on a high: Why is there an arrest warrant out for Lindsay Lohan?
Hmm… what's she doing now? Tax evasion? Drugs?

Booze actually, but we'll pay drugs.
Wow, I'm really coming up badly here.

Well, you got four out of seven, which is a pass. And at least we know you're not a cheater.
Yeah, I'm not into cheating.

So you're playing at Parklife Festival this year. Which acts are you planning on checking out?
Missy Elliot is one that I do wanna see. And I know Cut Copy is doing it and I'm looking forward to touring with those guys. Even though we're friends, we've never really done a proper tour together so that should be good. So I'm looking forward to it.

Midnight Juggernauts play the 2010 Parklife Festival featuring Missy Elliot, Cut Copy, Memory Tapes, New Young Pony Cub and more. Festival kicks off in late September. For details and tickets, head to the website.