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TWO OUTSIDER VIDEO GAMES YOU SHOULD PLAY

Truckers Delight - Episode 1: The Highway Platforms: iPhone Out: Now Developer: Mobigames

Truckers Delight started life as this Flairs video directed by French pervert Jérémie Perin. This is probably safe for work, unless you work in a school for very, very young children: So in a time when you need

zero justification to bring out an iPhone app

, the people at Mobigames done licensed the video and made a game out of it. It's not bad actually. It's like a gonzo version of Sega's

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Outrun

, which lots of people have great childhood memories of, but was actually extraordinarily dull. The point of the game is you drive your truck hoping to catch a blonde stripper before she makes it to work, ramming other cars off the road in your quest for poon. As you can see in the above trailer, your priapic little trucker can munch a pill to grow his tongue, which is employed in a mini-game involving licking college girls' tops off. There are nipples, which leads me to believe that Apple weren't paying attention when they put this up on the App Store. My only worry is if this sells enough they'll be able to make more episodes, like a kart racer based on that bit in the video where he sodomises the rhino that looks like the Fonz.

Bit.Trip Runner Platforms: WiiWare Out: Now Developer: Gaijin Games

Runner is the fourth in Gaijin Games' Wiiware Bit.Trip series, and owes a bit to rhythm-shooter classic

Rez

, only rather than blasting threatening polygons to the beat, you're jumping and punching your way through trippy, minute-long levels to sugary chiptune, uh, tunes. Importantly, you're not controlling that little dude's running - he can't stop. All you can do is tell him to duck, punch, jump, and block the obstacles that come flying at you. There are power-ups to collect, but they grant you no benefit beyond boosting the volume and number of the 8-bit instruments bleating in the background. The game's really addictive because you won't be satisfied with your performance till you make it through a level without fucking up once. The game continues the series' close relationship with chiptune artists, this time featuring the work of

Anamanaguchi

, who are really rad, but you'd be beyond embarrassed if anyone caught you listening to them in your spare time. Like the

Katamari

series, Bit.Trip Runner occupies that neat little niche of games that girls like, but don't suck because they're actually quite clever and don't require any farming or piñata husbandry. Really, I watched my girlfriend play it for an hour and she didn't complain once. MIKE STERRY