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Corpse Breath

We were at London Fashion Week to cover it for the Viceland.com blog because people told us that “fashion blogging” is really big at the moment.

Photo of Kanye West by Jamie Taete

Last month, me and my pal Jamie Taete spent a week whoring ourselves around myriad parties for London Fashion Week.

We were there to cover it for the Viceland.com blog because people told us that “fashion blogging” is really big at the moment.

We were still kind of reluctant to go at first, but then we noticed that almost all of the invites said things like “complimentary champagne reception” and “canapés” on them, so we figured we’d give it a go. And what do you know? We had a blast!

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But when we sat down to write this Fashion Week recap, we were a bit stumped, as we realised all we did the entire week was get wasted on the free booze and harass celebrities.

Karley: So what should we write about Fashion Week?

Jamie:

Maybe we could write something about how I took that picture of Kanye West where it looks like he’s giving a guy a beej, and then it ended up on Perez Hilton. That was pretty funny. What was your high point?

Well, it gave me a pretty big ego boost when I realised that most of the models had acne when you got up close to their Corpse Bride faces.

Yeah, and being able to smell their Red Bull bulimia breath made me feel less gross for not having brushed my teeth that morning.

OK, but we need to say at least one thing about the clothes. There was that one dress that we both liked.

Which one?

The black one with the netting and the architectural pleating. I don’t remember who made it.

Architectural pleating?

Yeah, I’m not really sure what it means, but I heard a lot of people saying it during fashion week, so I’ve just sort of adopted it as my own to make people think that I know what I’m talking about.

Oh OK, then we should definitely include that in the article.

Yeah, and I’m sure if we say the word “fierce” enough times people will just be confused enough to believe whatever we say.

KARLEY SCIORTINO