FYI.

This story is over 5 years old.

Vice Blog

New York - Road Treasures

With the rest of the world griping about waiting in five-hour lines to have their toothpaste confiscated, some of us are more than happy to cut flying from our travel routines entirely and focus on rekindling our affection for pretty much America's only decent tradition--the roadtrip. Besides growing cheaper with the addition of passengers and affording a greater closed environment for riff development, highway travel also brings you into close contact with the purveryors of fine tchotchkes like these gems we brought back from our last bon voyage.

Tell us, what was the last airport you were in that stocked lighters clearly designed by 12-year-olds eager to try smoking pot or weight-loss pills that incorporate deadly road hazards, deadly animals, AND peer pressure into their marketing strategy? And I don't think we even need to mention the goldmine of tasteful confederatiania within your grasp if you dip below Maryland. Flying may still be a trifle more convenient, but as far as stuff is concerned it ain't got shit on driving.

(PS: The three active ingredients in the Black Ice are caffeine, niacin, and chromium(?!?). Our assistant editor popped one this morning with his coffee and is supposed to get back to us later with the effect.)