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SAN DIEGO - STILL FULL OF GENIUSES


Some people are way too sensitive about this gay marriage thing; some people (like the ones our intern Hanson stumbled on in San Diego) aren't sensitive enough. Please, everyone, quit feeling so "polarized" and just chill your ass…
When you live in a city filled with godless pagans (read: New York) it becomes easy to forget that there's a whole country of God-fearing, red-blooded 'mericans out there. I was recently reminded of this fact when, on a visit to my hometown of San Diego, I ran into a protest regarding Proposition 8. Only this didn't look like any other protest I've ever seen: there were no police dogs, hoses, or cops beating down on longhairs. In fact, it wasn't even in black and white. It turned out that this wasn't a protest at all, but a "celebration in support of traditional marriage and Prop 8."

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I decided to stick around for a while, take some pictures, and listen to speakers from local churches and the Republican party talk about the upcoming culture war (it's gonna be epic!!). I guess I thought it was going to be really funny to watch a bunch of supporters of "opposite marriage" freak out about the eminent threat of gays on our society, and it was. Especially when this guy with one earring started ranting about how colleges breed a culture of "intellectualism and hook-ups" (his words, not mine) that is "the opposite of Christian teaching." What our nation's teens really want, he argued, is marriage and traditional family life. Nope. This is just about the opposite of what most teens want.

The best part of the "celebration" was the really festive signage. My favorite was one lady's that read, "Fight hate, protect Prop 8." Meaning that, in her mind, allowing gays to marry would be hateful. The logic behind this sign, of course, is that she's a dumb bitch. I got tired of seeing little kids with scribbled signs about how much they love having both a mommy and a daddy pretty quick, but before I left I managed to take a few pictures. Now when I'm back at NYU participating in a culture steeped in casual sex and atheism, I'll be able to look through my photos and see how my life has strayed from God's chosen path. I imagine that I will feel a small twinge of regret before returning to a cocaine-fueled sex orgy.

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HANSON O'HAVER