It's not all fun and games for my wife's retarded Uncle Lonzie. Nope. Lonald has a very rare disease that only afflicts ogres and giants that make it difficult for him to rock out too hard or too often. He never had this problem before. It only started when he came down the beanstalk to get his goose back; he's never been the same since. That's why events like Beatles Cover Bands can't be a regular occurrence. Lonzie gets too psyched and ends up in the Emergency Room.
Advertisement
"Yes. My ogre has fallen and can't get up."
"Is your ogre at this address?"
"No. He's at my mother-in-law's."
"Why didn't she call 911?"
"Because her phone can only dial our number. We have no 9s or 1s in our number."
"Who am I speaking to?" She asked.
"Who am I speaking to?" I asked.
"Sir…?"
"Ma'am…?"
"Would you like me to send an ambulance?"
"Well, that is why I am calling. I'm not trying to make dinner reservations."
"Sir…?"
"Ma'am…?"
"Can I have the address?"
"You may." And I gave it to her.People are so serious in times of emergency. It's annoying. It's not a healthy way to deal with emergencies.I called my wife to tell her the ambulance was coming. "What did 911 say?"
I thought that was a stupid question so I said, "They're busy. They can't make it."
"WHAT?!? SERIOUSLY?!?! WHAT THE HELL?!?!"
"No. I'm kidding. They're on the way. What else would they say?" She cursed me out for making a joke at a very serious and inappropriate time. I told her to relax. He'd be fine. She hung up on me. I thought it was as good a time as any to test a joke. Tough crowd.