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Vice Blog

LONDON - MICK JONES JUMBLE SALE

April 8, 2009, 2:59pm

Like the parents he never had, Chelsea's College of Art & Design are providing Mick Jones with some storage space for his, y'know, stuff. They're hosting his Rock 'n Roll Library until 18 April. The RnR Library is basically a tat-tanic cross-section of all the pop-cultural ephemera Mick's been hoarding in his Acton lock-up, dating back to his childhood: magazines, mementos, novelties, ev-er-y-thing. Not only is it a truly amazing hipster V&A, it's free too. Mick's dream is to open the whole lot up to the public and allow people to loan out items, like a real working library. Hopefully, when he passes over, Mr Jones will get himself stuffed-n-mounted Jeremy Bentham-style as the final addition.

These are some of our highlights:

Fog

We all know that they don't make London Fog like they used to. When Mick was back in The Old Days, he was quite a shrewd businessman, making sure he invested in some to retail for a massive profit in later life, much like that bit in Spaceballs where they're canning oxygen. We like to imagine B.A.D. getting homesick on one of their grueling stateside tours, then busting open some cans of Blighty fog in their hotel rooms and running around in a Pea Souper in top hats and tails, murdering prostitutes and sending each other to the workhouse. Estimated retail value: £3000

Zulus

There's an entire mini-exhibit devoted to Zulus and the Zulu Wars. As you'd imagine, there's copy of the Michael Caine classic Zulu!, famous for Sir Michael's catchphrase: "You were only supposed to blow the arms and legs off!" The centerpiece is a highly accurate reconstruction of the Battle Of Rorke's Drift (note British soldiers' valiant defence of gingerbread house). Estimated retail value: £317,67

Elvis 3-D Viewfinder

"No Elvis, Beatles or Rolling Stones in 1977," Joe Strummer once sang. So much for your Year Zero puritanism, Mr Strummer. Behind your back, Mick couldn't get enough of Ol' Elve, lapping up 3-D shots of the lavish interiors at his Graceland estate via a specially-constructed device. Estimated retail value: £25.

 An NYC Hotel Message from Joe Strummer

If ever proof was needed that bands are like marriages. Passive-aggressiveness, ritualistic cooling-off periods, and giving-in = an act of love. Estimated retail value: 39p.

Videos

Mick has more than 5,000 old VHS videos in his Acton lock-up. While his taste is pretty much identical to every car boot sale in the land, we still couldn't actually see a Friends boxset. It's probably locked up in his rococo teak TV cabinet at home. Estimated retail value: £451

Darth Maul Doll

(Note: is that a Mick doll in the background?) We hear they're part of a set, and that the Joe one hasn't been seen since Mick stuck a pin into its chest some time in late 2002. Estimated value of Darth Maul doll: £1,99 Estimated value of Mick doll: £25,37

Map: Palestine In The Time Of Jesus

Another quiet evening in at the Jones household, Mick kicking back on the couch, just him and his Bible. But--oh no!--he has serious difficulty in picturing how near Arimathea is to Galilee, thus diluting the narrative tension of the Word Of God. What does he need? That's right. A huge map of Palestine in the time of Jesus. Estimated retail value: £76

**The Power Of One by Bryce Courtenay **

Estimated value: 2p

Plastic Lobster In A Drawer

Estimated value: the usual.

**Selection Of Tapes **

Proof that, even if you're a generational figure who reinvented modern music, somewhere at the back of your cupboard, you're still destined to have a tape simply titled Seventies. Estimated value: I'll give you a fiver for the lot, guv.

**Wheel Of Musical Fortune From Mick's Carbon/Silicon "Carbon Casino" Gigs **

What you could win: "Should I Stay Or Should I Go" What you will probably end up with: something naff by Carbon/Silicon. Risk evaluation: Not worth it.

Wildlife Warning Device

Say what you will about Mick's career, but he never ever hit an elk. Elk flesh/kilo: £3,99

Vincent Van Gogh Doll

Vincent Van Gogh didn't sell a single painting during his lifetime, so he'd probably be happy about finally making it as a global multi-platform brand franchise. Estimated value of franchise: £600 million

GAVIN HAYNES