Photo by Sanna Charles
ROSKILDE
July 3–6, Roskilde, Denmark Last year’s Roskilde festival was a complete disaster. It was the closest thing to a third world type natural disaster Denmark has ever seen. After that we swore an oath never to go to another festival. Nothing about festivals seemed appealing anymore. Writing a Festival Guide? Whatever, let’s just google the dates and write some stuff down while having Sunday tea and watching the news… But WAIT a minute! My Bloody Valentine!? Are you guys for real? Oh, OK, see you in the VIP section. Tickets are about 220 euros. To see the complete line-up, visit roskilde-festival.dk. ACCELERATOR
June 24–25, Stockholm, Sweden Accelerator is going back to its roots after a brave attempt to conquer new ground on a grassy field last year. We’re happy they decided to return to the original stronghold—a great brick castle on Södermälarstrand. Accelerator is supposed to be free from mud and rubber-boots and filled with pale music nerds and self conscience rockers with “correct” references, walking around with their arms crossed, even while drinking beer, avoiding any kind of eye contact but still presuming that everyone is looking at them. We’re very much looking forward to getting liquored up, putting on our warpaint and running around naked screaming “DEERHUNTER DEERHUNTER DEERHUNTER”. We like Deerhunter. It is a very, very good band. A two-day pass is about 60 euros. Go to acceleratorfestival.se. GLASTONBURY
June 27–29, Glastonbury, UK If you’re one of the lucky ones that entered the Orwellian registration and raffling system and prevailed then it’s all gravy as you get to hang out with us. Yup, Vice has a tent at Glasto again this year where you can expect good times and refuge from the hippies. Our friends People Are Germs host a night in the tent with very, very special guests. The organisers like to keep their cards close, line-up-wise, but expect nothing but someone huge closing each night and a whole load of everything else everywhere at all times. We’re looking forward to The Teenagers, Gossip, Black Lips, and stumbling around with a shit-eating grin for three lost days. Start praying for sun now. Don’t expect a ticket but all other info from glastonburyfestivals.co.uk. FLOW
August 15–17, Helsinki, Finland Flow is a young festival that is getting bigger every year. They book interesting and topical acts, and since it’s an urban festival held in the capital of Finland, they’re making an effort at, and even have a chance of achieving, a level of sophistication. Still, as far as festival people go, which of these two two is more fun: to be a totally degenerated animal, or a stylish city dweller jamming to electro? There’s no clear answer to that. This year The Roots, CSS, Sebastien Tellier, Crystal Castles and Múm are playing. Tickets TBA. Go to flowfestival.com. WAY OUT WEST
August 8–9, Gothenburg, Sweden Way Out West popped up last year as an alternative to an otherwise rather mind numbing Swedish festival menu. Not only did they succeed in throwing a decent festival, let’s just say that they pretty much ruled. Will they manage to keep it up? Check out the line-up for this year’s beast of a festival if you’re not sure: Dark Meat, Holy Fuck, No Age, The Sonics, and Sonic Youth, to name a few. This is a tent, mud and gross free festival, so make sure to book a hotel or you’ll be forced to flirt your way into the houses of middle-aged A&R guys who’ve dropped their wife and kids off at the summerhouse for the weekend. A festival pass is about 137 euros. To see the healthiest looking line-up of the summer, go to www.wayoutwest.se. GREEN MAN
August 15–17, Brecon Beacons, UK Essentially one big beard hiding a fairly youthful face, Green Man is the annual showcase of all things folk. Described by The Guardian as “heaven,” the setting, organisation and line-up are all spot on. This year’s edition features the royal family of good taste in full attendance with Iron and Wine, The National and Black Mountain. Tickets £105, from thegreenmanfestival.co.uk. TUSKA
June 27–29, Helsinki, Finland This notorious heavy metal festival, held in the middle of Helsinki, tends to bring lots of black haired people to town. It’s weird because instead of a tent or a field, they all have to puke out their beers on the tram. Old, upper-class ladies will prefer to walk to the Stockmann department store this weekend. This year’s line-up includes Slayer, Carcass and Morbid Angel. Rock like it’s 1984! You’ll get a weekend ticket for 85 euros and more info at www.tuska-festival.fi. HOLE IN THE SKY
August 27–30, Bergen, Norway We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: you’ll need to travel to the centre of the earth, also known as Bergen, to get to the Hole in the Sky festival. They keep it that way to make sure that no weaklings bother. Expect an absolutely poser free festival, with a sublime, vicious line-up. Ivar of Enslaved is one of the people picking it out. This year you can choose from Colombian black metal (Inquisition), Polish black metal (Behemoth), Irish black metal (Primordial) and black metal with women in it (Gehenna and Electric Wizard). It’s a veritable United Colours of Benetton ad over there! Tickets are 70 euros (for a weekend pass) and all other info from www.holeinthesky.no. RUISROCK
July 4–6, Ruissalo, Turku, Finland This festival is great because you can swim in the sea and watch the bands play at the same time. But unlike my old boyfriend, you will actually have to know how to swim. It will seriously mess up your relationship if you force your girlfriend to go on a rescue mission when her favourite band is on stage. This summer Ruisrock takes home the trophy for Booking of the Year. You will find The National in the small print on their festival flyer, but of course there is nothing small about the greatest band alive. Everyone with ears is obliged to go. Interpol is a bonus. Weekend tickets are 100 euros, and more info on www.ruisrock.fi. ANKKAROCK
August 2–3, Korso, Vantaa, Finland Ankkarock is held in the worst white trash neighbourhood in all of Finland. This festival used to be free of charge, so back in those days all the local neo-Nazis without jobs would show up and turn the place into a nice battlefield between themselves and the rest of the world. They stopped coming after Ankkarock started to charge some laughably low entrance fees. These days the whole thing has developed into one unimaginative rock festival with only-too-obvious bands in the line-up and the same entrance fee as everyone else. The only thing that remains from the glorious past of fighting the Nazis is the depressing surroundings. This year The Hives will try to bring things to life. A two-day ticket is 75 euros. Info at www.ankkarock.fi. PEACE AND LOVE
June 23–28, Borlänge, Sweden Places like Borlänge scare us. The only people we know who are from there are either heroin dealers, roughneck construction workers or have been placed in witness protection programs. Imagining a festival in that city centre is like the perfect setup for a summertime horror movie. The name of this one is a pretty good title too actually. The cast is made up of small town teens that think that they’re super alternative and progressive while the cruel reality is that they’re actually clones of each other. There’s a tribe of zombie rednecks in leather vests circling the city centre on their motorbikes—like sharks waiting to attack the lame teen clones in order to eat their brains. Meanwhile, people are getting slaughtered in the mall to the sounds of Manu Chao. A one-day ticket is about 70 euros, www.peaceandlove.nu. RMJ
June 19–21, Kirjurinluoto, Pori, Finland Here’s a midsummer festival with a line-up traditionally including nothing but the worst domestic acts. With the midnight sun, the beach and tons of beer, a lot of people seem to tolerate tragic live acts. This year is no different. Expect Jay-Z. Tickets for Thursday-Saturday are 95 euros, rmj.fi. PROVINSSIROCK
June 13-15, Seinäjoki, Finland This Finnish classic kicks off the season with the Black Lips, Justice, Dinosaur Jr. and Foo Fighters, so there’s still reason to go even though the rest of the line-up includes typical festival bores. But what did you expect from a festival located in “the Texas of Finland?” Not even traditional Finnish entertainment is available, since it’s impossible to smuggle knives or anything like that into Provinssirock. The security guards are trained like bloodhounds. After the festival you can visit my hometown, Vähäkyrö, only 60 kilometres to the north. But there I would recommend you keep the knife close and your hands where they can see them. Tickets are 95 euros for the whole weekend, also from their website, www.provinssirock.fi. SÓNAR
June 19–21, Barcelona, Spain This is the 15th edition of Sónar and, whichever way you dice it, the line-up is great. Where else can you see Yazoo, Miss Kittin, Madness, Justice, M.I.A., Frankie Knuckles, Soulwax, and countless others across three days of non-stop partying in one of the funnest cities on the planet? Cool thing to do is turn your trip into a holiday based around the festival and shoot off down the coast after the event to recover from all the raving. Be sure to book an apartment with friends beforehand (the Hospital area off the Ramblas is good), and the earlier you do it the cheaper it is, duh. Keep your eyes peeled for another Vice party too, and don’t forget about all the parties happening during the festival. Tickets ranging from 28 euros to 170 euros and all other info from sonar.es. ICELAND AIRWAVES
October 15–19, Reykjavik, Iceland This is probably the best city festival on the planet and we really like city festivals. They celebrate their 10-year anniversary this year so we expect it to be extra grand. If you’ve never been to Iceland, this is the time to go. If you freeze your balls off or if for some reason you get tired of watching the best bands of the moment and strolling around the cutest town north of the polar circle, you can always go take a dip in the blue lagoon. We are currently talking about doing a guide to Iceland’s diviest fisherman joints, so keep your eyes open for that. For ticket prices and complete line-up, visit www.icelandairwaves.com. BEAT DAY
August 9–10, Copenhagen, Denmark Beat Day is a pretty random name for a festival that deals mainly in soft quality music such as Sigur Rós, Mercury Rev and Figurines. All the good bands are on the Saturday so just get a one-day pass and spend Sunday sunbathing on Islands Brygge with a take out burger from Alma’s instead. For tickets, visit www.beatday.dk. HULTSFRED
June 12–14, Hultsfred, Sweden Hultsfred is the kind of big festival that every Swede has been to at least once in their late teens. We weren’t planning on going but then they booked our favourite band and now we are. The Black Lips are worth travelling to the end of the world for. “Dirty Hands” should be the official anthem of any decent festival and yes, Black Lips, we really do want to hold your hands! Even when they’re covered with faecal mud from dirty festival camps. Love, 4-ever. A festival pass is 170 euros, rockparty.se. EMMABODA
July 31–August 2 Emmaboda, Sweden This is the festival where you go to see smart swindie kids play in bands that no one’s ever heard of and where rubber boots and raincoats count as high fashion. You can even paint eyeliner stars on your cheeks and still be taken seriously. In short, you’ve just stepped into the enchanted twee fairyland. This festival is also known as breeding season in the indie calendar. To get lucky, bring carefully prepared mix tapes with your phone number scribbled on the back of them (here they’re referred to as “business cards”) and wear homemade pins of your favourite Sarah Records bands. Don’t forget to bring your own tent, and use a condom! We’ll be going mainly to see The Whitest Boy Alive. Tickets start at 83 euros, emmabodafestivalen.se. GAGNEF
July 24–27, Leksand, Sweden Last year Sibille from Speedmarket Avenue did a solo show together with a Chippendale dancer, and this year will probably be just as eclectic. There’s a barn, a lake and nothing short of a paradise-like vibe. Tickets are 60 euros, skankaloss.com. POPAGANDA
August 29–30, Stockholm, Sweden Popaganda used to be this awesome, free festival in the grass by Stockholm University. Everyone used to be in a great mood, get shitfaced and make out in the wet grass with their shades on. Not only was it free and crammed with fun indie kids, they even booked great bands. Then, for some reason, they decided not to continue doing it and we all felt it was a bit like the end of an era. This year Popaganda is finally back, but it is no longer free and no longer at the university. And it’s all ages. They might as well have changed the name too, since sloppy comebacks will only enrage us and destroy our dear memories. We can’t complain about the line-up though, Bonde Do Role and Shout Out Louds will still make it worth the visit. A one-day pass is about 27 euros. For more, visit www.popaganda.se. CPH DISTORTION
June 4–8, Copenhagen, Denmark Apparently Danes are the true Vikings of the Nordic lot. They manage to turn themselves into drunken barbarians on boats, without drowning. The same thing goes for driving. It’s as if Thor himself is looking after them as they ravage around town on their rave busses. Google “Techno Viking” and you’ll see what we’re talking about. This year, you’ll be able to experience all of the above to the sound of dance-friendly electronic music. We’ll be co-hosting the CPH Distortion opening night too, and the Techno Viking will be attending. Rad. For line-up and ticket prices, cphdistortion.dk. SWEDEN ROCK FESTIVAL
June 4–7, Sölvesborg, Sweden Sweden Rock is the number one 80s sleaze metal festival in Scandinavia. It’s also the biggest festival in Sweden but nobody knows that since nobody with even the slightest bit of taste has ever been. That’s why we’re very happy to tell you that we’re going. Nothing can stop us. The idea of going mental to Poison, Def Leppard, Whitesnake and all the other big names of the dying breed of hair metal bands, together with 29.000 small town rockers seems absolutely irresistible. We’re jumping up and down with excitement, like kids on Christmas Eve, and we know we’ll regret it the second we set foot there but it doesn’t matter because right now it gives our lives a purpose. If you don’t believe us, check it out for yourself at swedenrock.com. Don’t miss the picture gallery. ARVIKAFESTIVALEN
July 3–5, Arvika, Sweden A week at Arvikafestivalen used to be the main motivation for high school emo goths to endure a whole year of school. It used to be all about making out with 35-year-old computer programmers in leather coats who lick their own shoes, puking uncontrollably from heavy drinking and fucking in the mud next to some passed out crust punks with their wieners out. For the past years though, Arvikafestivalen has been renewing itself. Maybe they wanted to reach a broader audience. We don’t blame them. Checking out the line-up it’s obvious that the bookers threw away The NME Future 50 list, went for bands they like instead and added a bunch of DJ acts. It just so happens that we like M.I.A, MSTRKRFT, The Go! Team, Danger and Yelle too, so we decided to have a stage of our own there. Come visit us for some sweaty, drunken dancing in the grass. Since these guys have thought of everything, they’re also giving you the opportunity to save trees. Cute! A three-day pass is about 100 euros. Visit www.arvikafestivalen.se for further info on tickets and tree love. CALVI ON THE ROCKS
July 4–7, Calvi, Corsica, France Set in the chi-chi tourist town of Calvi in the north of Corsica, this bright young outdoor boutique festival is like a new rave remix of La Dolce Vita (Vice enjoyed lunch on the Krug champagne yacht last year). It’s attended by well-dressed Parisian scenesters who lounge around on the beach all day and then party at night. We can’t recommend this idyllic four-dayer enough. Though Calvi is expensive (buy your food in the hypermarket) and it gets really hot, there are some very reasonable flights landing at the Bastia airport. Oh, the music? How about Soulwax, 2 Many DJs and people like that? All info from calviontherocks.com. VICE STAFF

July 3–6, Roskilde, Denmark Last year’s Roskilde festival was a complete disaster. It was the closest thing to a third world type natural disaster Denmark has ever seen. After that we swore an oath never to go to another festival. Nothing about festivals seemed appealing anymore. Writing a Festival Guide? Whatever, let’s just google the dates and write some stuff down while having Sunday tea and watching the news… But WAIT a minute! My Bloody Valentine!? Are you guys for real? Oh, OK, see you in the VIP section. Tickets are about 220 euros. To see the complete line-up, visit roskilde-festival.dk. ACCELERATOR
June 24–25, Stockholm, Sweden Accelerator is going back to its roots after a brave attempt to conquer new ground on a grassy field last year. We’re happy they decided to return to the original stronghold—a great brick castle on Södermälarstrand. Accelerator is supposed to be free from mud and rubber-boots and filled with pale music nerds and self conscience rockers with “correct” references, walking around with their arms crossed, even while drinking beer, avoiding any kind of eye contact but still presuming that everyone is looking at them. We’re very much looking forward to getting liquored up, putting on our warpaint and running around naked screaming “DEERHUNTER DEERHUNTER DEERHUNTER”. We like Deerhunter. It is a very, very good band. A two-day pass is about 60 euros. Go to acceleratorfestival.se. GLASTONBURY
June 27–29, Glastonbury, UK If you’re one of the lucky ones that entered the Orwellian registration and raffling system and prevailed then it’s all gravy as you get to hang out with us. Yup, Vice has a tent at Glasto again this year where you can expect good times and refuge from the hippies. Our friends People Are Germs host a night in the tent with very, very special guests. The organisers like to keep their cards close, line-up-wise, but expect nothing but someone huge closing each night and a whole load of everything else everywhere at all times. We’re looking forward to The Teenagers, Gossip, Black Lips, and stumbling around with a shit-eating grin for three lost days. Start praying for sun now. Don’t expect a ticket but all other info from glastonburyfestivals.co.uk. FLOW
August 15–17, Helsinki, Finland Flow is a young festival that is getting bigger every year. They book interesting and topical acts, and since it’s an urban festival held in the capital of Finland, they’re making an effort at, and even have a chance of achieving, a level of sophistication. Still, as far as festival people go, which of these two two is more fun: to be a totally degenerated animal, or a stylish city dweller jamming to electro? There’s no clear answer to that. This year The Roots, CSS, Sebastien Tellier, Crystal Castles and Múm are playing. Tickets TBA. Go to flowfestival.com. WAY OUT WEST
August 8–9, Gothenburg, Sweden Way Out West popped up last year as an alternative to an otherwise rather mind numbing Swedish festival menu. Not only did they succeed in throwing a decent festival, let’s just say that they pretty much ruled. Will they manage to keep it up? Check out the line-up for this year’s beast of a festival if you’re not sure: Dark Meat, Holy Fuck, No Age, The Sonics, and Sonic Youth, to name a few. This is a tent, mud and gross free festival, so make sure to book a hotel or you’ll be forced to flirt your way into the houses of middle-aged A&R guys who’ve dropped their wife and kids off at the summerhouse for the weekend. A festival pass is about 137 euros. To see the healthiest looking line-up of the summer, go to www.wayoutwest.se. GREEN MAN
August 15–17, Brecon Beacons, UK Essentially one big beard hiding a fairly youthful face, Green Man is the annual showcase of all things folk. Described by The Guardian as “heaven,” the setting, organisation and line-up are all spot on. This year’s edition features the royal family of good taste in full attendance with Iron and Wine, The National and Black Mountain. Tickets £105, from thegreenmanfestival.co.uk. TUSKA
June 27–29, Helsinki, Finland This notorious heavy metal festival, held in the middle of Helsinki, tends to bring lots of black haired people to town. It’s weird because instead of a tent or a field, they all have to puke out their beers on the tram. Old, upper-class ladies will prefer to walk to the Stockmann department store this weekend. This year’s line-up includes Slayer, Carcass and Morbid Angel. Rock like it’s 1984! You’ll get a weekend ticket for 85 euros and more info at www.tuska-festival.fi. HOLE IN THE SKY
August 27–30, Bergen, Norway We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: you’ll need to travel to the centre of the earth, also known as Bergen, to get to the Hole in the Sky festival. They keep it that way to make sure that no weaklings bother. Expect an absolutely poser free festival, with a sublime, vicious line-up. Ivar of Enslaved is one of the people picking it out. This year you can choose from Colombian black metal (Inquisition), Polish black metal (Behemoth), Irish black metal (Primordial) and black metal with women in it (Gehenna and Electric Wizard). It’s a veritable United Colours of Benetton ad over there! Tickets are 70 euros (for a weekend pass) and all other info from www.holeinthesky.no. RUISROCK
July 4–6, Ruissalo, Turku, Finland This festival is great because you can swim in the sea and watch the bands play at the same time. But unlike my old boyfriend, you will actually have to know how to swim. It will seriously mess up your relationship if you force your girlfriend to go on a rescue mission when her favourite band is on stage. This summer Ruisrock takes home the trophy for Booking of the Year. You will find The National in the small print on their festival flyer, but of course there is nothing small about the greatest band alive. Everyone with ears is obliged to go. Interpol is a bonus. Weekend tickets are 100 euros, and more info on www.ruisrock.fi. ANKKAROCK
August 2–3, Korso, Vantaa, Finland Ankkarock is held in the worst white trash neighbourhood in all of Finland. This festival used to be free of charge, so back in those days all the local neo-Nazis without jobs would show up and turn the place into a nice battlefield between themselves and the rest of the world. They stopped coming after Ankkarock started to charge some laughably low entrance fees. These days the whole thing has developed into one unimaginative rock festival with only-too-obvious bands in the line-up and the same entrance fee as everyone else. The only thing that remains from the glorious past of fighting the Nazis is the depressing surroundings. This year The Hives will try to bring things to life. A two-day ticket is 75 euros. Info at www.ankkarock.fi. PEACE AND LOVE
June 23–28, Borlänge, Sweden Places like Borlänge scare us. The only people we know who are from there are either heroin dealers, roughneck construction workers or have been placed in witness protection programs. Imagining a festival in that city centre is like the perfect setup for a summertime horror movie. The name of this one is a pretty good title too actually. The cast is made up of small town teens that think that they’re super alternative and progressive while the cruel reality is that they’re actually clones of each other. There’s a tribe of zombie rednecks in leather vests circling the city centre on their motorbikes—like sharks waiting to attack the lame teen clones in order to eat their brains. Meanwhile, people are getting slaughtered in the mall to the sounds of Manu Chao. A one-day ticket is about 70 euros, www.peaceandlove.nu. RMJ
June 19–21, Kirjurinluoto, Pori, Finland Here’s a midsummer festival with a line-up traditionally including nothing but the worst domestic acts. With the midnight sun, the beach and tons of beer, a lot of people seem to tolerate tragic live acts. This year is no different. Expect Jay-Z. Tickets for Thursday-Saturday are 95 euros, rmj.fi. PROVINSSIROCK
June 13-15, Seinäjoki, Finland This Finnish classic kicks off the season with the Black Lips, Justice, Dinosaur Jr. and Foo Fighters, so there’s still reason to go even though the rest of the line-up includes typical festival bores. But what did you expect from a festival located in “the Texas of Finland?” Not even traditional Finnish entertainment is available, since it’s impossible to smuggle knives or anything like that into Provinssirock. The security guards are trained like bloodhounds. After the festival you can visit my hometown, Vähäkyrö, only 60 kilometres to the north. But there I would recommend you keep the knife close and your hands where they can see them. Tickets are 95 euros for the whole weekend, also from their website, www.provinssirock.fi. SÓNAR
June 19–21, Barcelona, Spain This is the 15th edition of Sónar and, whichever way you dice it, the line-up is great. Where else can you see Yazoo, Miss Kittin, Madness, Justice, M.I.A., Frankie Knuckles, Soulwax, and countless others across three days of non-stop partying in one of the funnest cities on the planet? Cool thing to do is turn your trip into a holiday based around the festival and shoot off down the coast after the event to recover from all the raving. Be sure to book an apartment with friends beforehand (the Hospital area off the Ramblas is good), and the earlier you do it the cheaper it is, duh. Keep your eyes peeled for another Vice party too, and don’t forget about all the parties happening during the festival. Tickets ranging from 28 euros to 170 euros and all other info from sonar.es. ICELAND AIRWAVES
October 15–19, Reykjavik, Iceland This is probably the best city festival on the planet and we really like city festivals. They celebrate their 10-year anniversary this year so we expect it to be extra grand. If you’ve never been to Iceland, this is the time to go. If you freeze your balls off or if for some reason you get tired of watching the best bands of the moment and strolling around the cutest town north of the polar circle, you can always go take a dip in the blue lagoon. We are currently talking about doing a guide to Iceland’s diviest fisherman joints, so keep your eyes open for that. For ticket prices and complete line-up, visit www.icelandairwaves.com. BEAT DAY
August 9–10, Copenhagen, Denmark Beat Day is a pretty random name for a festival that deals mainly in soft quality music such as Sigur Rós, Mercury Rev and Figurines. All the good bands are on the Saturday so just get a one-day pass and spend Sunday sunbathing on Islands Brygge with a take out burger from Alma’s instead. For tickets, visit www.beatday.dk. HULTSFRED
June 12–14, Hultsfred, Sweden Hultsfred is the kind of big festival that every Swede has been to at least once in their late teens. We weren’t planning on going but then they booked our favourite band and now we are. The Black Lips are worth travelling to the end of the world for. “Dirty Hands” should be the official anthem of any decent festival and yes, Black Lips, we really do want to hold your hands! Even when they’re covered with faecal mud from dirty festival camps. Love, 4-ever. A festival pass is 170 euros, rockparty.se. EMMABODA
July 31–August 2 Emmaboda, Sweden This is the festival where you go to see smart swindie kids play in bands that no one’s ever heard of and where rubber boots and raincoats count as high fashion. You can even paint eyeliner stars on your cheeks and still be taken seriously. In short, you’ve just stepped into the enchanted twee fairyland. This festival is also known as breeding season in the indie calendar. To get lucky, bring carefully prepared mix tapes with your phone number scribbled on the back of them (here they’re referred to as “business cards”) and wear homemade pins of your favourite Sarah Records bands. Don’t forget to bring your own tent, and use a condom! We’ll be going mainly to see The Whitest Boy Alive. Tickets start at 83 euros, emmabodafestivalen.se. GAGNEF
July 24–27, Leksand, Sweden Last year Sibille from Speedmarket Avenue did a solo show together with a Chippendale dancer, and this year will probably be just as eclectic. There’s a barn, a lake and nothing short of a paradise-like vibe. Tickets are 60 euros, skankaloss.com. POPAGANDA
August 29–30, Stockholm, Sweden Popaganda used to be this awesome, free festival in the grass by Stockholm University. Everyone used to be in a great mood, get shitfaced and make out in the wet grass with their shades on. Not only was it free and crammed with fun indie kids, they even booked great bands. Then, for some reason, they decided not to continue doing it and we all felt it was a bit like the end of an era. This year Popaganda is finally back, but it is no longer free and no longer at the university. And it’s all ages. They might as well have changed the name too, since sloppy comebacks will only enrage us and destroy our dear memories. We can’t complain about the line-up though, Bonde Do Role and Shout Out Louds will still make it worth the visit. A one-day pass is about 27 euros. For more, visit www.popaganda.se. CPH DISTORTION
June 4–8, Copenhagen, Denmark Apparently Danes are the true Vikings of the Nordic lot. They manage to turn themselves into drunken barbarians on boats, without drowning. The same thing goes for driving. It’s as if Thor himself is looking after them as they ravage around town on their rave busses. Google “Techno Viking” and you’ll see what we’re talking about. This year, you’ll be able to experience all of the above to the sound of dance-friendly electronic music. We’ll be co-hosting the CPH Distortion opening night too, and the Techno Viking will be attending. Rad. For line-up and ticket prices, cphdistortion.dk. SWEDEN ROCK FESTIVAL
June 4–7, Sölvesborg, Sweden Sweden Rock is the number one 80s sleaze metal festival in Scandinavia. It’s also the biggest festival in Sweden but nobody knows that since nobody with even the slightest bit of taste has ever been. That’s why we’re very happy to tell you that we’re going. Nothing can stop us. The idea of going mental to Poison, Def Leppard, Whitesnake and all the other big names of the dying breed of hair metal bands, together with 29.000 small town rockers seems absolutely irresistible. We’re jumping up and down with excitement, like kids on Christmas Eve, and we know we’ll regret it the second we set foot there but it doesn’t matter because right now it gives our lives a purpose. If you don’t believe us, check it out for yourself at swedenrock.com. Don’t miss the picture gallery. ARVIKAFESTIVALEN
July 3–5, Arvika, Sweden A week at Arvikafestivalen used to be the main motivation for high school emo goths to endure a whole year of school. It used to be all about making out with 35-year-old computer programmers in leather coats who lick their own shoes, puking uncontrollably from heavy drinking and fucking in the mud next to some passed out crust punks with their wieners out. For the past years though, Arvikafestivalen has been renewing itself. Maybe they wanted to reach a broader audience. We don’t blame them. Checking out the line-up it’s obvious that the bookers threw away The NME Future 50 list, went for bands they like instead and added a bunch of DJ acts. It just so happens that we like M.I.A, MSTRKRFT, The Go! Team, Danger and Yelle too, so we decided to have a stage of our own there. Come visit us for some sweaty, drunken dancing in the grass. Since these guys have thought of everything, they’re also giving you the opportunity to save trees. Cute! A three-day pass is about 100 euros. Visit www.arvikafestivalen.se for further info on tickets and tree love. CALVI ON THE ROCKS
July 4–7, Calvi, Corsica, France Set in the chi-chi tourist town of Calvi in the north of Corsica, this bright young outdoor boutique festival is like a new rave remix of La Dolce Vita (Vice enjoyed lunch on the Krug champagne yacht last year). It’s attended by well-dressed Parisian scenesters who lounge around on the beach all day and then party at night. We can’t recommend this idyllic four-dayer enough. Though Calvi is expensive (buy your food in the hypermarket) and it gets really hot, there are some very reasonable flights landing at the Bastia airport. Oh, the music? How about Soulwax, 2 Many DJs and people like that? All info from calviontherocks.com. VICE STAFF
