Yesterday, Christians remembered Jesus's resurrection. Today, we are announcing the resurrection of our own sort of Christ, the Gross Jar.
Long-time readers might remember the Gross Jar, but if you're new here and not very good at figuring stuff out, here's a breakdown of the concept: We take gross stuff, and put it in a jar.
We laid the last incarnation (this is our third Jar) of the Gross Jar to rest about five years ago, when the stench and consistency had crescendoed and it was apparent to anyone who stuck their face in it that the unholy cocktail was in its twilight years. Rather than drag out its demise, we put it down with dignity, by making an intern tie-dye a bunch of shirts with it.
Here are some pictures of old gross jars. They contained stuff like dreadlocks, cum, period blood, facial scabs, dead pigeons, cockroaches, vomit… ya know, gross stuff. Gross stuff people wouldn't usually put inside jars for safe keeping.
And here is a photo of someone sitting on the roof of the US office wearing the limited-edition Gross Jar t-shirt.
Anyway, this is a jar I found in one of our edit suites the other day that is going to become the new gross jar. I'm not sure why someone was eating a jumbo jar of mixed Polish vegetable sewage in brine in our office, but I'm going to leave them in to get the ball rolling.
You might be thinking that this jar doesn't seem large enough to hold too much gross stuff, and I agree. I was going to buy a bigger jar, but then started thinking how funny it would be to make someone (i.e., an intern who hasn't been hired yet) transfer it from this jar into a larger one when the grossness outgrows its tiny, Polish womb.
Leave suggestions for gross stuff in the comments below. We'll be adding the best suggestions over the next couple of weeks. If it's any kind of bodily fluid, we've probably already thought of it, so try to be creative. Best suggestion wins the opportunity to visit our office and sniff the jar.
While you're waiting for the action to start, why not familiarize yourself with the old Gross Jars?
Follow Jamie on Twitter: @JLCT