If you’re going to dabble in the esoteric, why not go for an area that basically gives you a personality cheat-sheet for everyone you’re obsessed with? The zodiac offers a kind of blueprint for understanding what might please a Pisces (aka, your crush) on their birthday, or make a Capricorn (aka, Mommy) feel even more in control of their destiny.
If you’re new to the zodiac, take the following astral smorgasbord as an easy way to shop for a gift that will feel specific, but not in a weird way; a present that will really slap, because you contain infinite wisdom from the stars and know that Njoy does, in fact, make one of the best prostate toys out there for Sagittariuses. I mean, we’re the captains of our own ships or whatever, but you can’t tell me that every Leo doesn’t want a gold Casio watch, or that a Taurus won’t appreciate some high-quality kitchen goods. In fact, here’s an idea: Why not put together a group of presents by pulling gifts for your recipient’s sun, moon, and rising sign? It’ll sweep them off their little cloven feet.
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N00bs and crystal lickers alike, welcome. Pull up that birth chart, and let’s whip out the universal magic carpet, thine credit card, in finding the best gifts for all zodiac signs.
Aries
Where did Aries go today? Cliff diving? Karaoke? Backpacking? As the resident ram of the zodiac, this sign charges horns first into adventures and Good Times, and often without looking ahead. Grab your Aries a durable fanny pack from Carhartt that will help them go the distance, and a baseball cap from the streetwear brand (that is aptly named) Aries.
Taurus
Ah, the gourmands of the zodiac. Taurus appreciates the finer things in life, especially when they’re drizzled in truffle oil, given a nice garnish, or hail from a Japanese snack marketplace like Bokksu. Here’s an idea: Gift them a Peppermint Bark Cake from Milk Bar, and then gift them a reeeeeally solid knife for cutting it, such as this eight-inch, German steel blade by Imarku. It’s a consistent best-seller on Amazon, where it has a 4.6-star average rating from over 11,800 reviews, and is one of our editors’ favorites.
Gemini
There’s so much to love about Geminis, because they come with about 26 alternate personalities in tow. They’re often creative, a little mischievous, and always a great plus one. Give them a disposable or polaroid camera for documenting all of the shenanigans they’ve so artfully arranged.
Cancer
Hiiiiiii. (Cancer here.) Tragically, you can’t gift us the gift of crawling back in the womb for mummy’s warmth and comfort. But you can get close, thanks to this luxurious faux fur throw from Quince. The cloud-like blanket is sustainably produced from premium recycled materials, and slightly ruched to look and feel just like the real thing. The best part? You’ll end up spending much less than you would have at Pottery Barn, for example, where a ruched faux fur blanket goes for over $140. We could go on about how much we stan Quince’s direct-to-cosumer luxury model, but there’s an entire VICE guide for that.
If your crab always runs cold, cop them this high-rated, heated blanket from Sunbeam. Once upon a 1997, electric blankets looked like drab hospital jawns, but, these days, Sunbeam is giving the people what they want: Aesthetic check print throws with automatic heating timers and built-in foot pockets for keeping those toes toasty.
Leo
The question is, “What time is it?” and the answer is, “Leo.” You almost don’t have to bother setting up the clock on this classic, shiny Casio. Leo will love it for the chunky, retro gold look, because they’re all about the bling. Peep our Leo specific gift guide for this fire sign if you need even more ideas for making them feel like the king of the world. It won’t be hard—they already do.
The king of fire signs deserves this striking tabletop lighter from Edie Parker. The clever objet is actually two stacked glass vessels: an ashtray and a lighter, and it’s selling out fast on SSENSE right now. Your Leo will love showing it off on their coffee table by all of their big art books.
Virgo
Thank goddess for Virgo, man. This sign swoops in every autumn with all the organizational, rational, back-to-school energy we need to start off fall on the right foot. Reach for well-made items that will help them run a tight ship. They will appreciate the fine craftwork of the Fisher Space Pen, which was, according to Space Lore, the first pen designed to function in space:
Space Pen (opens in a new window)
They’ll also appreciate a shower scalp massager, not only for its massage-and-bon-voyage energy, but because it kills two birds with one stone by exfoliating their scalp/applying product better in the shower, and relaxing them during steamy time.
Scalp Masajeador (opens in a new window)
Libra
We have cooked up an entire Libra guide dedicated to the most **aesthetic** of signs filled with flowers, art books, and other treasures that could please this air sign’s discerning eyeballs. But let’s be real. The thing a Libra loves to look at the most? Themself, through rose colored glasses—and this super flattering, back-lit mirror is as close as one could get. The motion activated, adjustable light has a 4.6-star average rating on Wayfair from hundreds of reviews, including one fan who writes, “It is such an accent piece to my bathroom and I constantly get compliments on it. The light goes to a soft white like a night light, and then a bright light.”
You’ll earn big points if you bring home a little something sparkly for your cherished, aesthetic Libra. There’s an entire VICE guide to shopping for cool, non-corny jewelry, and Harlot Hands is hands-down one of our favorite indie jewelry brands for looking like an ethereal cyber punk fairie.
Scorpio
Look, Scorpio is hot, and has a very hot gift guide. No doubt about it. But they also have this one-note reputation as the dark/scary/sexy sign, when they have far more watery and sensitive depths. They’re passionate, good listeners, and waaaay more private than Gemini or Aries, which makes them far more trustworthy in my book. They will be requiring wrap sunglasses for keeping a low (but intimidating) profile.
Oh what the hell, give them some aesthetic, slightly industrial-looking nipple clamps. They’ll love them.
Adjustable Nipple Clamps with Double Chain (opens in a new window)
Sagittarius
As the hunter of the zodiac, Sagittarius is a straight-shooter and deserves fittingly intense Sag gift guide. They go big and go home with the game that they got, capiche? A lot of water signs people misconstrue Sag energy as gregarious, which is fair. But they’re just out here being some of the most adventurous, try-anything-once hype men. Of course they’re going to love a multi-tasking, G-spot- and prostate-pleasing sex toy.
As the resident sign of living, laughing, and loving at full throttle speed, your Sagittarius could also use a little massage and bon voyage energy. This art print hits the perfect note between “breathe” and “book the flight already”; it feels intentional, but focused. Just like them.
Capricorn
Nothing but respect for my president. When Capricorn isn’t busy flagellating themselves for Not Being Good Enough, they’re looking for ways to further sharpen their tunnel vision for excellence. It’s an altruistic, often exhausting path, so get them an extra large Moleskine notebook for drawing up their master plan, and some natural deodorant so that the world won’t see them sweat. Native makes one of the best out there, and is often lauded by deo-influencers for its clean scents and cruelty-free formulas.
Aquarius
If you just made plans with Aquarius to do something, no you didn’t, because this sign has a max five-second attention span. Not that it’s their fault, mind you; Aquarius is just always trying to do 10 things at once, and has about a million little hobbies that capture their imagination. Find something that’ll hold their attention, like TASCHEN’s new tome about the Arthur E. Waite and Pamela Colman tarot deck. The enchanting volume includes more than 800 images and texts, as well as facsimiles of the OG 1910 tarot cards so that your Aquiarius can hone their reading game.
There’s a very high chance that your Aquarius is a Deadhead. Gift them this dancing bear bathrobe for lounging around the house like The Dude, running to the bodega for late night snacks, or whipping up some grilled cheese sammies.
Grateful Dead Dancing Bear Robe (opens in a new window)
Pisces
It was either this, or electric nipple clamps, because Pisces is definitely the secret freak of the zodiac that could give Scorpio a run for their money, and has a duality to them that could rival Gemini (hence, their emblem of the two fishes swimming in opposing directions). But, lord, are they powerful water babies with a lot of Big Feels. For that reason, they get to enjoy the luxurious suds of this organic Flamingo Estate soap. We have long been fans of the Los Angeles lifestyle brand for its heritage olive oil and earthy candles, and its Jalama Canyon sage soap is its most enticing self-care item yet; the organic soap is made in collaboration with the White Buffalo Land Trust, which works to protect areas such as the Jalama Canyon, and is filled with the aroma of its beloved sage. As Flamingo Estate explains, “Early Spring harvests bring out the [soap’s] sweet, herbaceous notes, with a background of damp earth.”
Jalama Canyon Black Sage Soap Brick (opens in a new window)
As one of the most sensitive signs, a Pisces would also appreciate these bestselling Ice Globe facial wands from Amazon. The concept is simple: stash the hypnotic, liquid-filled wands in the fridge, and use them to massage the forhead, temples, and wherever else you need some cooling TLC. As one Amazon reviewer writes, “As a single mom self-care is so important. After a long day I massage my face and it feels like heaven.”
Ice Globes for Facials (opens in a new window)
Ophiuchus
LOL. You really thought we’d go there? Foolishness. If you insist, though…
Clown Costume (opens in a new window)
Happy shopping ye astral babes, and good luck with those triple air signs.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.