You can judge a lot about a person from whether the chugging riff of "All My Life" spins them into a state of pure rage. Once Dave Grohl has finished whispering that intro, if you're not screaming like an orc then you and I have absolutely nothing in common.
Foo Fighters are absolutely the band most underrated by our generation. Show me more exquisite songwriting than the 1999 classic "Stacked Actors". Sing to me more haunting lyrics than "I am a one way motorway / I'm the road that drives away / then follows you back home". Witness a man who knows how to milk a live audience to the point of uncomfortable pleasure by making every song exactly eight minutes long with an extended bridge build up into the final euphoric chorus. It is heinous that young people choose only to recognise FF as little more a basic classic rock band, a less embarrassing Nickelback.
One group that truly sees Foos for how good they are is dads. Every dad has a copy of the 2009 Greatest Hits in their car. Every dad croons "Everlong" at the family BBQ. They plod their way through "Best of You" after buying the Stagg beginners acoustic guitar kit from Argos. They see the truth.
The Foo Fighters headlined Glastonbury's Pyramid Stage on the Saturday, so I had a walk around and a chat with a load of Foo Fighters daddies as they sat on inflatable sofas, wearing cowboy hats and having a nice cold cider with the picnic their wives made.
Nick, 47, Devon
VICE: So you're a Foo Fighters daddy?
Nick: Well, Dave Grohl is the real Foo Fighters daddy. He's got three children, hasn't he? I've got two. As far as I know, anyway.
Nick's mate: But you've got the bigger belly.
Nick: He looks a bit better than me, that's all I can say.
How long have you been a Foos fan?
All the way back to Nirvana. We've seen them live loads of times before – Milton Keynes, 2012 was a classic. Foo Fighters are, in my opinion, the best live rock band in the world.
What do your kids think of Foos?
Our girls love 'em. Foo Fighters wrap everything up. They do a lot of the heavy stuff and then they're very soft and gentle. If you listen to the lyrics – really listen – they're beautiful.
What are your favourite lyrics?
The lyrics to "These Days". "The Pretender" – me and my wife love to sing the lyrics to that. That one also motivates the children. It's all high energy rock music at the end of the day. But then they really do love the soft mellow lovely stuff, too. God, they're a very tight band.
What does Dave Grohl embody to you?
I think he does it for the love. That's what I honestly believe. I think he's absolutely grounded – a normal guy, who just goes to work and works hard. They just love doing it. I know they get money for it, but that's never why they do it; it truly isn't. They're just grounded, even though they're superstars. That's what I think everyone loves about them. He's super sexy. I don't mean that in a funny way, but he is! He's a super sexy superstar. My wife is in love with him; all the ladies love him and he's got everything going for him.
Mark, 47, Devon
Foo Fighters then, eh.
Mark: Look. In America he did a little tour where they played in people's garages, just rocking up and rocking out. How cool is that? Not for money, just for pure love. This is a man who wants to give something back. You'd be happy if Dave Grohl was your dad, wouldn't you?
"Hero". Hands down. "Hero".
*VICE and dads sing 'My Hero'*
God, it reminds me of my dad. And my daughter says, "Now it reminds me of you now, dad." I told her it was my favourite song and that was why, and that's what made her think of me.
She plays it all the time. That's quite cool, isn't it.
Graham, 47, Birmingham
How did you get into them then, Graham?
Graham: Originally I was a fan of Nirvana, of course. I saw Nirvana back in the day myself in a small club in Birmingham, then obviously they split up – or didn't, as the case may be – and Dave set up camp on his own. Dave Grohl plays everything – the drums, the guitar, bass; I've seen them about ten times over the years.
What do you think about Dave?
He's the nicest man in rock, of course! I have a theory that he's a bit of a control freak at heart, though. You can see that in his documentaries. It's his way or the highway. Which is not a bad thing – I'm certainly not dissing him. He's a very straight man and says it how it is. That Dave Grohl is a man who knows what he wants – and goes for it!
One By One. Wasn't keen on the newest one, Sonic Highways. Little self indulgent, I felt. Hoping the one out later this year will be a return to form. "Best of You" and "Everlong" are my fave songs. I'll put ten pounds on it now that they'll both be on tonight. They'll last about ten minutes long, a bit of self-indulgence.
Tim, 44, Bristol
Let's chat FF.
Tim: I've only got into Foo Fighters in the last two years – since Nirvana finished and Dave Grohl took over. Really, really good, old school rock 'n' roll. I was sad hearing that they cancelled the year we came here for them. I cannot wait for tonight. My wife got me into them. We saw a Foo Fighters documentary and just couldn't believe: how have I missed the Foo Fighters! I think they're the last bastion of true rock and roll.
I agree. Who else have you come here for?
Anyone else APART from Foo Fighters!? They are THE main event for me, hands down, have to see it, definitely. That's why I've got here early, to get the perfect space. It's not to be here for The National. But other than that, The XX and Radiohead. Unfortunately the earlier part of Radiohead wasn't very lively! It was a bit slow.
Tom, 38, Midsummer Norton
VICE: How much adrenaline is pumping through your veins right now?
Tom: Well. Let's just say I saw them at Wembley about nine years ago and that was awesome. Dave Grohl came on on a catwalk with a cool blue Gibson guitar, playing "The Pretender". It doesn't get much better than that. Tonight, Dave is going to have us eating out of his hand. It's really going to kick off. It'll get out of hand. You wait until he plays the first few bars of "The Pretender" or "All My Life". You'll see everyone bounce. Shit is going to get lost. He really has a lot to make up for for not doing the other year.
Do you play guitar?
Oh no. Just a fan. I do play some very good air guitar, though. There's going to be shit loads of air guitar and air drumming tonight! Bit of screaming.
What do you think about Dave?
He's just a talented, really cool motherfucker. I hate him.
Do you wish you were him?
No, I'd do anything to be his best mate. That'd be amazing. I'd love to have a cold beer with him, but he must be in the VIP bit, looking down on us all, chilling.
I'd love to know what he's doing right now.
Oh, I certainly think he's having a couple of beers!
Tony, 55, Belfast
VICE: Only ten minutes to go now, Tony.
Tony: Yes! I love Foo Fighters. Dave Grohl: legend. How many bands has he been in and been a legend in them all? Breaking his leg and playing? What a star.
Since when have you liked them?
I started liking them ten years ago, when they brought out the iconic song *sings* "I've got another confession to make". That one. I want them to play "Everlong" first, though.
A slow banger?
Foo Fighters are full of surprises. You will see.
Are you here with FF family or friends?
Sadly my family are not fans of Foo Fighters, but my friends are here. This is everything I have been waiting for. I have two favourite bands who are playing at Glastonbury – the other is London Grammar. I have a very eclectic taste in music; it all depends on my mood. Foo Fighters are the type of band you want to listen to when you're *does horns* rocking out and you're craving hearing something heavy. When I am angry. London Grammar whenever I want to chill and relax.
Thoughts on Dave Grohl?
I love him. He's the most talented, friendly guy. He is a decent bloke. He is a guy you want to go out and have a pint with. Maybe I would invite him around my house for a dinner party. I would love for him to be my best friend and go partying with him.
We won't go to the VIP bit, though. If he comes to the hospitality bit where I am allowed to go I will definitely ask for a selfie! I have a feeling he will let me take one.
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