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Farmer Arrested for Drunkenly Driving His Tractor to a Pizza Shop

A seriously bad case of the drunchies.
Phoebe Hurst
London, GB
Photos via Flickr users David Wright and Matt

We’ve all exhibited questionable behaviour when in the grip of an alcohol-fueled food craving. You know, stuff like falling off the night bus into a chicken shop with a zero-star hygiene rating or inhaling a double cheeseburger when you vehemently swear off meat during the sober light of day. Even science says that we become irrationally hungry when we’ve been drinking.

But something that most of us won’t have attempted, despite how extreme that craving for a slice of Meat Feast, is to drive to our local pizza shop in a large agricultural vehicle.

Yes, really. As Farmers Weekly reports, farm worker Luke Cockburn drove a green Fendt tractor into Carlisle late on Christmas Eve. Cumbria Police tweeted a photo of the tractor parked up on the side of a road, adding that the driver had been “trying to get pizza.”

A spokesperson for Cumbria Police told Farmers Weekly that Cockburn was “arrested in the early hours of Christmas Eve on suspicion of driving his vehicle, a green tractor, while under the influence of alcohol in Carlisle city centre.” He is scheduled to appear in court later this month.

In the meantime, it might be advisable to download the Domino’s delivery app.